this post was submitted on 20 Nov 2024
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[–] [email protected] 52 points 1 day ago (2 children)

You don’t need to have kids to pass on values. The basic premise of your statement doesn’t hold up.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Well, like I mentioned you still need some sort of interaction with kids. Or maybe influence their parents enough to have them indirectly pass on those values you imparted on them. But I still think that if the smartest, kindest, most compassionate people among us stop having kids... well then that's not great for that next generation. I've just always felt that giving up one of the primary factors of life, reproduction, seems very defeatist. But on the other hand, if someone genuinely doesn't want children then by all means don't.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I know at least one friend that wants to adopt/foster once they're ready, instead of having biological children.

The justification was similar to what you said, where they want to pass on their values / legacy, but don't care about the genetic side

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

This is the answer. The problem is the huge expense to adopt at least in the US. Money that could make a better life for the child being adopted is taken by the state.

We need to streamline adoption while still vetting the potential parents as unlikely to be abusive.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Yeah this has always pissed me off with my non-parent friends. You really think you have that much influence on random kids you have fleeting interactions with? Unless you’re a teacher or in some other position where it’s your job to interact with kids, your opinions aren’t getting passed down to anyone.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

They could always get more involved with their community. They don't have to be a parent or have some specialized education to be a coach or volunteer at a youth center.

My scoutmaster did more to instill honesty, leadership ability, and respect for community in me than my mom or absent father ever did.

Now in my career I take mentoring new hires more seriously than anything other than general safety. My company hires a lot of young men with no direction and shitty childhoods. It's not as good as getting to them when they're young, but when I'm their only friend 200 or 800 miles from home I get the privilege to impart some important ideas and philosophies.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Scoutmaster is a job that works with kids, so I agree with you there. And mentoring is important too. But these things are less important than the impact you make as a parent. For most people the family is the anchor.