this post was submitted on 08 Oct 2024
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I think it’s a good idea for partners to have their own dedicated space that they can decorate for themselves and keep their hobbies in. It helps keep the rest of the house tidy and allows for a little bit of a personal safe haven. Obviously, the traditional conception of a ‘man cave’ isn’t great, but I think that there is a way it can be approached non-toxically
It's not the "traditional concept", it's the juiced up consumerist fantasy. The traditional man-cave is literally just the garage or the basement, where you keep your power tools.
When I first heard the word "man cave" it seemed to mean rec room/rumpus room as marketed by Spike TV. A finished basement, bonus room above the garage etc. often furnished with such things as a pool table, dart board, leather couch, big screen TV for watching The Game, wet bar, etc. From there it transitioned to mean any space that is considered "his" in the home, which might only be the parts of the garage that aren't full of rubbermaid bins full of shit they own but never use.
Side note, remember when houses had a room called the "den"?
The "Den" has been rebranded as the 'Office". Same room, just under different management.
What if I'm not qualified to glue two pieces of cardboard together? Where is my hideout?
Dungeons and dragons was developed in a man cave.
Also, 1 of the guys' wives thought he was cheating on her. She followed him to a house and thought to catch him in the act, when he went into the basement. Instead, she burst in on him and his friends playtesting D&D in their basement mancave.
If we're going by this logic, I would say that the personal computer was invented in a "man cave".
Though I guess those kids weren't married yet (right? probably?)
It might have been his GF. Definitely his female other half.
The difference between a mancave and a workshop is 90% mentality. A workshop is generally to do a job, or a chore. A mancave is focused on enjoyment. The line is extremely blurry, however. Particularly if you enjoy making stuff.
By example. Developing D&D in a cosy basement, with the intention of having fun, it's a mancave. By the time you're using the same basement more for boxing and organising shipping, it's a workshop. It's akin to the difference between a bedroom and a brothel.
Also basement.
In that case, you have a few options:
This guy fucking gets it. Let's go with hobbies. Show your kids passion and a love of learning, the ability to have fun, and wrap it all in in emotional support and love and everything will be fine. I have an office with a bunch of nerd projects and we're building out the basement workshop. My 3 year old already "helps" me build stuff and I hope that only increases. Mom has a second husband of her job in athletics, so kiddo is learning about normalizing hard work and athletic endeavors, visits Mommy's office and weight room, etc.
The meme is funny. A lot of this conversation is definitely not, glad there's some reasonable takes down here.
Online
Fuck. You might be on to something
Fuck that, I'm doing my soldering in the kitchen because that's where the best light is
"IF I'M BREATHING LEAD WE ALL ARE!"
Kitchens often have powerful extract fans so really it's the safest choice
Yeah but a lot of them just vent back out of the front. It really depends on how they were installed. So maybe double -check if you haven't already
Bro needs some 4000K 90 CRI 20W/m strips
Also you get a free fume extractor.
This is so true, heck I've even 'baked' some custom PCB boards in the oven to do some cheap reflow... Every man belongs in the kitchen, that's where all the big boy tools are
Please use a cheap toaster oven or a griddle that you dedicate for soldering, you don't want any of that crap near your food.
Just use normal toaster so you know when they are ready
Back in the old analog days, the recording studio I managed kept around a toaster oven, because old tapes can get sticky because the binder has gotten soft and that's how you harden it again.
People REALLY underestimate the value of lighting. My wife likes it dim on the main floor. I am constantly reminding her that we evolved in caves for 100k years and finally have fucking light and she's squandering the advantage.
Modern bright lighting is great for daytime but one of the worst things we can do to ourselves in the evening or night. We absolutely did not evolve to be exposed to bright (particularly blue/white) light after the sun starts setting.
The best thing I did for my circadian rhythm was eliminate light in the bedroom and set up my lights to slowly shift to soft amber and dim in the evening. The trick is having it transition slowly so your eyes adjust and you don't notice it.
2nded. The lighting should be comparable to daylight, it helps your eyes focus better.
You can even get lux meter apps for your phone.
We evolved in caves, so our eyes aren't meant for bright light.
Only minor /s, I am sensitive to light and wish more people would be ok with darkness, especially at night. You don't need flood lights constantly on blinding every square millimeter of your yard. Night vision is a thing and it doesn't require goggles.
Same, fuck porch lights and street lights. Just let it be dark damn it.
Get out of here, you cave-dwelling heathen!
Please don't melt heavy metals in food prep areas.
But that sweet, sweet flavor...
And where the snacks are too!
Wine and nice sayings isn't a hobby. A sports team you don't participate in at all isn't a hobby. Drinking isn't a hobby.
Maybe not your hobbies (or mine), but these are all examples of an activity that someone does for pleasure when they are not working.
I’m going to start telling people I’m not an alcohol, drinking is just a hobby of mine
That’s basically what “I’m a social drinker” means, so you can just say that.
I'd hope that nobody would disagree with this.
The toxic aspect isn't from wanting space apart from your spouse, it's in sending signals (even ironically or in jest) that the family you are a part of is something you hate, that your family is cramping your individuality, and that you want to escape from them.
Everyone needs their own time and space. Just because you married another human doesn't make you any less of an individual, and having healthy opportunity for time apart is essential.