this post was submitted on 04 Oct 2024
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Everyone is always so sad allegedly when someone dies. Were you there for them when they really needed it? Did you even pick up the phone?
All this talk about mental health is incredibly cheap.
Death brings out the worst in people. I've seen it up close too many times. People make others deaths about themselves, about how they feel, about their guilt. Because they know they could have done more, whether in the moment or overall, but chose not to. And you know, sometimes they can't do more, sometimes their plate is already overflowing, but that doesn't mean they get to make the death about them.
Of course it is, because no one ever really wants to be close to someone struggling with their own mind. They prefer performative care, so they can receive sympathy, but do not actually care about the person truly struggling.
The mentally unwell are chronically alone and lonely, I can attest, with few real, genuine human connections, because they are just there to make others feel good about themselves. Even their death is capitalised upon for further sympathy and attention.
I wonder why I have so few genuine, caring friends, but why wonder when the answer is they don't actually care. They just like others telling them how kind and selfless they are. It's disgusting that the mentally unwell are only "cared for and about" when they're fucking dead and it doesn't mean anything to them.
personal experience
My own family, the side I still see, doesn't call or text me despite knowing what I go through, and have suffered through. They never called to check in when I lived through my egg doners severe neglect, just made excuses. They didn't check in when I ended up isolated and raped daily by my ex for 8yrs. But they are quick to say "if you need anything, let us know!". Well I said call me occasionally, just a msg to see how I'm going, and they cannot even do that, so I may as well rot away and they can all have their performative sadness and attention when I pass away. My own dad doesn't even call, even when I initiate contact. So yeah, fuck anyone who pretends they cared, just to take their fill of the attention they obviously so desperately crave.We love you Spud. Massive hugs ๐ซ I'm sorry you had to go through that shit.
I admire your sheer will and grit to carry on.
So many hugs.
I know I'm just an internet friend but I am always here if you need, you can msg me anytime and if possible i can real life help to if i can.
Thank you seagoon, I offer the same to you. Those who understand, understand the importance of human connection and bonding. This community has been a bastion, and you the shining pure gem at its center. ๐
It's you everyone comes to see. ๐๐๐
experience
spoiler
Having very obvious cptsd and the lack of control of emotions and emotional expression that is part of that was a real eye opener.People can be so fucking cruel. The number of people who saw I couldn't help my feelings and reactions and made me suffer with cruel words was too high. Absolute sadists.
It gave me insight into why many veterans with ptsd commit suicide, the pain is so great and sadists take advantage.
I think one day I will do charity work with vets with ptsd