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How do you pick yourself up after getting your heart broken? (lemm.ee)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I fell for someone who lives in a different country. We met while he was passing through mine, and then he later changed some of his travel plans to come back and see me again.

We saw each other every single day for over a month, he met most of my friends, we went on trips together and overall he was very loving and did all kinds of things that made me feel like we had something that could last beyond a fling. He told me he would be back again.

His feelings changed not long after he went back home, and he only admitted it to me once I confronted him after noticing him become more and more distant over 2 months. He said he found it hard to stay emotionally invested in someone so far away.

I get that long distance is hard and that people's feelings change. I just didn't think he'd lose feelings for me so easily. It hurts more than ending a relationship that has slowly burned out over time, because I just can't make sense of how quickly this happened. And I think a large part of why I got so attached is because I very rarely meet guys I'm genuinely interested in, let alone ones that treat me well.

Have any of you gone through something similar? If so, how did you cope with it? Was there anything that made it easier to accept, or do I just need to let time do its thing? I have a bunch of important things to finish this week and have already lost so much time crying lol.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

I was in a long distance relationship that didn't work out... this is going back about 9 years so I have a long perspective of it now.

Long story short I was in a short but emotionally intense fling with a girl who lived across the country. We had originally met in real life on a friends trip together (as we had mutual friends) and did a couple trips back and forth to see each other in person, spending every other night apart on the phone / video chat. She broke up with me after becoming interested in a guy back home, from what I heard from mutual friends.

It really hurt, I was crushed and didn't know what to do with my time anymore. We had developed this routine that was now torn away from me and I just wanted to drown my sorrows. I ended up just going out to bars and clubs most nights to keep myself entertained. About a month later I joined the online dating pool and went on a few dozen dates trying to recapture the connection.

I found something far better though, with someone I learned I related too far more personally and hobby wise, she became my wife and we have a beautiful toddler at home i'm struggling to get to take naps by himself.

Everything about the other girl is a distant memory, I forget her names most times it pops into my head - and that's going back years now. I still remember some lessons I learned from that relationship though.

That's all to say, life moves on and that's not just a sappy saying. You honestly will recover and be a better person for it.