this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2024
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It’s frustrating as an adult with ARFID/eating disorders. I can’t bring myself to eat leftovers because I worry that they are contaminated. I’ve thrown away so much food because I won’t reuse a pasta sauce jar if it has been opened.
A lot of the common “easy” meals are things that I absolutely will not eat - spaghetti, canned veggies, ground beef. Sometimes I struggle with eating ramen. It’s fucking embarrassing but I literally cannot help it. I will gag and puke if my brain decides I can’t eat something.
Sounds absolutely horrible. I usually have to tame myself, to not eat all leftovers in the evening so I have some for tomorrow.
Have you considered taking a serve safe restaurant hygiene class. I used to be similarly worried about food, but after learning about the safe handling and storage rules and temperature danger zones, I'm much less worried about left overs.
I got the manager certification a long time ago, and it oddly made it worse. Weird things like being convinced that my refrigerator isn’t consistently keeping temperature or that the plastic in the packaging has holes in it. Texture sets me off and there’s a lot of variation I’m sensitive to.
I can’t get a family sized bag of chips or cereal for example, because I can only eat them the same day I opened the package. I know that there is nothing wrong with them, but the thought of a stale one upsets me. I love apples, but rarely eat them because I don’t want to risk a mushy one. I know a mushy apple or stale chips aren’t “contaminated” but they feel intensely like they are.
I'd say you have to learn to trust your nose (it really is that simple) but you seem to have a condition worth to see a therapist over.
Yeah - the condition I have is ARFID. I do see a therapist, but they can’t really “cure” texture aversion. I’ve found adaptations that fit my lifestyle.
I just wanted to share because there are a lot of stigmas around disordered eating - there’s an assumption that “picky” eating is a lack of willpower or a character flaw. Food is such a basic need that our brains can be very strongly wired in incorrect ways.