this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2024
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Feeling pressured into marriage is a common issue for aromantics dating an alloromantic, regardless of sexuality.
Is alloromantic the opposite of aromantic? I tried to understand this by reading online definitions but am not sure at all.
The prefix Allo just means other, so when you have a pair of things the other one will normally become Allo-thing. Because we don't make words the culturally accepted default position until there is something to contrast it with, most instances of Allo will describe the culturally accepted default.
Aromantic - Alloromantic
Asexual - Allosexual
Autistic - Allistic
Asocial - Allosocial
Aplatonic - Alloplatonic
Afamilial - Allofamilial
Asaurus - Allosaurus?
🤣 That's my brother's favorite dino
The prefix seems unnecessary and doesn’t even make sense with your last example. Why is it needed when the a- prefix works perfectly fine to contrast with the existing word as-is?
Aautistic doesn't follow English's rules for making words, we don't do double vowl startings unless they are from very specific loan words that were popular enough to break the rules.
Same was alloistic doesn't work without a hyphen because when you have an o from a prefix and I from a suffix you need to drop one of them to make the word work.
Basically English has illegal parrings of letters you can't make and when they would come up you need to hyphen them together or drop letters.
See eject, which is ex-ject but we can't have xj so we drop the x.
Or attend, which is ad-tend but we can't do dt so make it tt instead.
Wading should be wade-ing but ei, so we drop the e.
Etc
I don’t think there needs to be a word that describes the negative of a condition. You just don’t need a descriptor at all. There’s no value add.
Inject vs eject? Am I being trolled here?
You're not being trolled this is literally how the English language works: https://www.google.com/search?q=eject%20etymology%20&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&client=firefox-b-1-m
So would you propose we just say autistic people and normal people? Doesn't that seem kind of cruel and bothering?
Should we also say asexual people and normal people, or aromantic people and normal people, trans people and normal people?
Where do you draw the line?
autistic/non-autistic, asexual/sexual, aromantic/romantic, trans/cis
asexual and aromantic are already based on being the negative, adding another term to reverse that just makes a double negative
I mean being romantic or sexual carries some other connotations and meanings making them ambiguous in many situations if used as the antonym to the asexual and aromantic label.
I don’t really care what words are used for it but I find the allo ones useful as they are the most commonly understood ones and are unambiguous.
I'm not going to argue with you on words that have already become accepted by the people whom they affect, or that most of the things you are saying are othering to the people affected and work to say that there is something wrong with them for being different / have been used to actively dehumanize marginalized groups.
I will say you are on the wrong Lemmy if this is the fight you want to make.
Oh but there is an implied value - superiority. When you give a group of people a descriptive property with no inverse you are basically creating a construct of "assumed default". This comes with other issues of those falling outside the default having no way to effectively talk about people of the assumed default group without using words that have value judgements baked in. Like if I am calling you "a normal person" the implicit value judgement is that I am an abnormal person. I am "othered".
This sort of denial of language assumes that a group that you are given tools to talk about never and should never talk about your group back utilizing those same tools.
yup!
How does an aromantic even get to the point of being pressured into a marriage (at least in a society without arranged marriage)? Why are they dating in the first place? Am I misunderstanding how that works?
Same ways gay people get 'straight married'.
Could be family pressure. Could be internalized hetreonormativity making them feel like they 'should' do this. Could be they haven't really realized, come to terms with, or accepted their own identity.
I mean, think of a 'stereotypical' aromantic guy. He's interested in women, and sleeps around a lot, but despite not getting feelings, might 'settle down' with one partner because its 'normal, respectable', even if it's not something that makes him happy. Probably won't make the wife happy either, but that's it's own issue, why she might marry a guy that 'doesn't do romance'.
Mainly social expectations and lack of awareness of aromanticism. I know in the US that's common in the deep south (where I'm from), but I'm sure you'll find it anywhere that's socially conservative.