this post was submitted on 01 Sep 2024
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No Stupid Questions

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Hello. For context, I am in a university. I do not have any friends, and it feels like colleagues talk bad about me. This makes me quite hesitant to join any circles or attend seminars. I am not sure it is everyone who thinks bad about me though, I fear about asking. Yet I plan to do research, so I should attend seminars to learn current trends and stuffs. May I ask what I should do in such a situation? Are friends necessary, or not really? Also should I stop being in this environment and get a job instead? Thanks for reading lengthy paragraph, I would love any comments or advice for this.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Getting a job won't make things easier. Most people need human friends to live a fulfilling life. I think you might be imagining that people dislike you, as we socially awkward people often do. Just try talking to people, and you'll surely make a few friends. I'm socially awkward, but make it a point to attend some social gatherings outside of classes/job so that I'm basically forced to talk to people, no matter how hard it is. If you're just starting university, it'll be easier as everyone is trying to make friends, and there'll be many open events. For later years, it might be a bit harder, but try joining some clubs. I've found astronomy clubs to be pretty chill and welcoming to new members.

Just make it a point to attend some social events. There will definitely be people who will appreciate your personality, just give them the chance to get to know you.

(All of this is assuming you don't have some underlying mental condition. If you find it hard to follow this advice, maybe seek help from a professional.)