this post was submitted on 20 Jul 2023
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But people are different. It's not a homogenization to treat each person as an individual, exactly the opposite. Just as the coin could have flipped the other way, the coin could have been a 1 sided, or an N sided. If someone identifies strongly with their gender, then that's great, celebrate who they are as part of their gender. But other people want nothing to do with the social associations people make between them and their gender, often because they don't apply. Gender norms are great for people who identify with those norms, but they're a prison for people who don't.
We do have biological patterns, but they're not nearly as clean-cut as Leave it To Beaver, or a high school text book might paint them to be. In some cases, there are very real, very measurable biological patterns that society refuses to accept as real, instead insisting that every human falls into a simple "male" or "female" bucket that they can be defined by. That simply doesn't reflect reality.
I know it may feel like I'm going on a tangent, but it is relevant. Humans are far more interesting and different than just "men and women are different", and we should celebrate that.
I can absolutely see your point about not fitting in to a gender role. I think many people in technology felt something similar growing up, way before computers were popular. They were considered geeky and people who used them were strange and a bit weird. Absolutely not popular.
It hurts to be treated that way, because you just want to be yourself. And I understand that feeling very much myself. It's the same when you are ugly by the way. Life is completely different when you are ugly compared to when you are beautiful. It's just a different world because every single person will treat you differently. But sorry, that's me going on a tangent...
It makes sense that when you feel like that, you want people to stop treating other people like that.