this post was submitted on 10 Aug 2024
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[โ€“] [email protected] 117 points 3 months ago (4 children)

I wonder what those creatures that demand your first born do if you're a virgin forever. Or if you're gay. ๐Ÿค”

[โ€“] [email protected] 110 points 3 months ago

Fae: GIVE ME YOUR FIRST BORN

Human, having unprotected sex with their gay partner for the 7th time that day: I'M TRYING

[โ€“] [email protected] 70 points 3 months ago (2 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 104 points 3 months ago (3 children)

Oh that's easy, they secretly hook you up with someone really perfect for you, you have a great kid, and then the love of your life has a stroke and their personality does a 180ยฐ, tearing your whole dream family apart as the fey returns and offers to let you keep just one family member, and then you fail to realize the deal includes yourself and you've unwittingly sacrificed all your cognitive abilities and memories while your daughter's life gets ruined as she spends her best years taking care of her madman father with no hope for a better life.

[โ€“] [email protected] 64 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I know it's trite to say "calm down Satan", but, calm down Satan. You've captured the spirit of a Fae deal really well.

[โ€“] [email protected] 19 points 3 months ago

I got that dog in me

[โ€“] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It's times like this that I'm glad it was my wife's left side of the brain that got nuked by her strokes, instead of the right.

[โ€“] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago

What a heartwarming story

[โ€“] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

What a heartwarming story

[โ€“] [email protected] 26 points 3 months ago

I get to get VORED too?!

[โ€“] [email protected] 23 points 3 months ago

Ya win some, ya lose some. No businessman has every deal go their way.

[โ€“] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago

According to my gf, they take your balls. Call it a feysectomy.