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Are your grandparents and parents nice or tolerant people? (discuss.tchncs.de)

submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I’ve just been out for food with parents (60’s) and nana (80’s) and I don’t know why I go as they leave me disheartened every time damn time.

In the short span of a couple of hours they (mainly my nana but parents will have silly views too) managed to comment on the number of black athletes at the Olympics (somehow being a bad thing), shit on the upcoming Para-olympics (quote: disabled people should just accept their lot and not try sport), protesters (of any kind) and questioning if any protests have ever been successful, to which I answered the suffragette‘s we’re pretty successful.

Complaining about people being spoilt these days at the same time as my nana confessing she was given food in a bowl at my aunties and refused to eat it unless it was on a plate (seems pretty spoilt to me). Asking for things to be like when she was younger, to which I asked if she was a fan of Nazi Germany as she grew up post WWII.

I guess I am wondering how can I come from a family that seemingly has no compassion for anybody and even less empathy for anybody different than them. They make me angry at times and I know I can be annoying my always challenging their bullshit views, but I can’t sit there and let people take utter nonsense like this.

I haven’t even covered half the awful stuff they say and their warped ideals.

Edit: The other one that irritates me is them (two women ) shitting on female athletes. Like WTF if a female wants to be a footballer what skin is it off their noses. Unless they just bitter they people have more choice to be themselves now.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (1 children)

Asking for things to be like when she was younger, to which I asked if she was a fan of Nazi Germany as she grew up post WWII.

Uh, what? Why the hell would you equate growing up in Germany after WWII with Nazis?

I guess I am wondering how can I come from a family that seemingly has no compassion for anybody and even less empathy for anybody different than them.

Maybe start with yourself? Recognize change is difficult, nostalgia is comfortable, and for someone who grew up pre-internet by several decades, the current world is probably overwhelming at times.

Your family's comments on the number of black athletes and on paralympics sound sus, but you don't exactly present yourself as a beacon of inclusivity either.

Self-reflection is a great place to start to grow empathy and understanding of others. Or to discover for oneself when it's time to cut losses.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 3 months ago (1 children)

So the Nazi comment wasn’t so much Germany, but the fact that she thinks the world is broken now because we like to be inclusive and recognise our failings. I was merely pointing out that her era tried to kill all Jewish people.

I don’t think being inclusive should extend to hate speech against people of colour of disabled people, if that makes me exclusionary then I guess I am happy to exclude those antiquated views.

Self reflection is kinda why I made this post. To see how other people might handle these situations better than I clearly do.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

"Her era" didn't try to kill all Jewish people though. She was a child at a point in time after WWII. You're trying to explain her entire personality with a falsehood. Why?

Non-Nazis can be racist. Sounds like she may be one such person. Still doesn't mean she's a Nazi.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

I think there is some confusion here and that’s on me for not being clearer.

I wasn’t referencing Nazis for any reason other than to show that things are not as bad as they were when she was growing up.

Trying to stop them reminiscing over a time that was much worse than it is now. Like if they want to complain that just stop oil protestors are horrible people and they didn’t have them in her era, I just wanted to remind that she grew up in a bombed out shell of a country just to hatred against one group of people.