No Stupid Questions
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Not the best...
I haven't been able to find a job in my field (IT) for about a year, any opportunities which I think I have secured are ripped out from under me at the last moment. Two weeks ago I was waiting on hearing back about a 4th and final interview with CrowdStrike...then they screwed up 8 million Windows PCs and cost businesses about 5.5 billion dollars.
My brother has come to terms with his alcoholism and it's been a rough few months for my parents. He's 42 and has a 4 year old daughter, and her mother is an absolute nightmare to deal with (they aren't together). My brother lives nextdoor to my parents ...but I live 1300 miles away. We thought he was doing pretty well for the past month...but it turns out he was eating like the equivalent of one piece of beef jerky a day (in total) and not drinking any liquids other than (a reduced amount of) alcohol. He has been on blood pressure medication and apparently mistakenly doubled up on that, passed out at the top of his outside steps one night last week, fell down the steps and broke two of his front teeth badly. He's been in the hospital for the past few days so they can get him stable. My parents are going to recommend in-patient recovery to him, because he wants to get sober, but can't really manage to do it himself. My parents are 67 and 74, so it's a ton of stress on them as well.
And the least of my problems: my short term memory is terrible (I'm 38 with ADHD). I've been attempting to learn how to dance Casino (Cuban Salsa), but I can't remember a damn thing, I have practically zero rhythm, and my body is fucked up from minor scoliosis in two places which throws off my weight/center of balance and makes me shoulders tight (I'm "round shouldered"). I've gone to about 30 classes, but I'm still stuck on the very basics ๐
Also just feeling like shit today, physically, but that's because I was up until 5 AM playing a board game with a few friends and took too much Ambien (I've been taking it on and off for about 20 years and steadily for the past 9 months or so while talking to a psychiatrist about my insomnia) because even though I had been awake for about 20 hours I was still pretty alert.
I just keep telling myself it could be a hell of a lot worse though.
I'd say lay off the gaba dealies withdrawals for em can be insomnia, otherwise you know what you're doing it seems.
I feel you on the job thing, when I was 23 it took me many months to find a job in IT, it was awful, I remember the stress of it, I needed it desperately to stay in the country, otherwise I'd be deported to hell.
I'm an insomniac anyway, Id' rather knock myself out than stay awake for like a day or two straight and be miserable due to lack of sleep. I actually take Gabapentin as well, which helped me not feel like ass in the morning (the usual outcome of taking like 15 mg of Ambien, previous to about 2-3 years ago)
Luckily I'm a citizen so I don't have to worry about that, but yeah, it's absolutely miserable and demeaning. Half of the time is spent creating an account for something that you'll never use again, verifying that your resume was parsed correctly, and then answering the same bullshit discrimination questions. 30% of it is spent wading through all the job postings from recruiters with horrible/useless job descriptions, and if you find one you like, talking to them for 20 minutes about the exact same stuff that's on your resume and you go into detail about it and they stop you because they have no clue what you're talking about. My mom keeps telling me "you may have to go for something that you don't want" because she doesn't understand that getting a helpdesk job takes just as much effort as getting a Linux System Engineer job.