this post was submitted on 29 Jul 2024
393 points (93.6% liked)
Lemmy Shitpost
27173 readers
3853 users here now
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
You're right, life isn't fair, and isn't ever going to be everything going the way you want.
I would still challenge you about the attitude that everything is completely outside your control. You've heard the quote, "the harder I work the luckier I get"?
Yes, our opportunities are constrained by the world around us. If you tell a kid they can become president, that's almost certainly not true. But by working on yourself, by recognizing your strengths, by focusing on what's important to you, you can position yourself to take advantage of the opportunities you get.
In the dating world that could look like participating in activities you enjoy that also involve other people (tabletop games, bird watching, skydiving whatever). You might never meet someone at those things, but by increasing the volume of human interaction, you're improving your odds, while also honing your social skills if the occasion arises.
It doesn't require trying to be someone you're not, and will also be counterproductive if you do. In sales sometimes they'll tell you to "go for the no." If someone isn't going to buy you want to find that out quickly so you can spend your time on someone who will. In a relationship, if someone is going to reject who you are, you want to find that out quickly, not pretend to be some other person.
I never said everything is outside your control, don't put words in my mouth. There are some things you can change, and some things you can't. And after spending long enough trying different things and taking stock of what I've tried in the dating game, and not a single human being has ever had any genuine interest in me, as I approach my 30s -- I have come to this conclusion not through flip "woe is me" bullshit over a night of binge drinking, this is years of depression and deep thought on it. I accept the reality that is presented to me, and the reality is that whatever drives others away is simply not something I can change, and my best going theory is I'm just an annoying fucking spastic who can't see through bullshit. That's not to say I know that for certain, just that I've tried changing up everything that I can (and am willing to) change to attract another person -- from small things to large -- and it's never helped, and I've tried for long enough.
Some of us just aren't meant to have certain things in life.
Not with that attitude, no.
Sorry, that's not a nice thing to say, but in your other comment you say something completely differen "it is what it is". That is a much better approach and also your own words as well. I think that one is actually "the key to happines". You might not have been able to find a compatible partner now, but you're not even 30. It would've been nice to have someone by now, but getting older does not mean that you've wasted your chances to find love. That's the vibe I get from you. But it is not true. There are tons of stories of people finding love later in life. Even in elder care homes.
It is what it is, that is true. Don't let bad luck get you down, but also don't close yourself off for future possibilities. Be your own person and just live your life in the now and try to focus more on the good parts. Other good things might come later, or not, it is what it is.
Ah, yes, "your attitude now is bad so clearly your attitude was always bad and that's why you're alone". Naw, I used to have a better attitude, as I said in my original comment, and having a good attitude didn't help one bit (which was the point of my original comment). And trying to pretend it does, doesn't help anyone -- I could have the sunniest disposition in the world, but that doesn't change shit about the world around me -- being an optimist doesn't help you if, say, the house is on fire. And the world around me wants very little to do with me romantically, and pretty much always has. I can either accept that, or I can live in denial of it, but neither changes it.
Right. You worked for something maybe seriously for a decade, it didn't work out, but you might live for another 60 years. Hey if you want to sacrifice the future based on the past that's okay, but the reality is we have no idea what's going to happen. In many countries, there are expressions that essentially state that men don't even start looking attractive until they hit their 30s. And I know dozens of men who got married in their thirties or forties or fifties. Of course you don't have to get married, that's cool too, but let's not pretend that it's totally impossible just because it didn't work out for you so far.