this post was submitted on 26 Jul 2024
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Years later, I looked at my wedding party of six groomsmen and realized that every single one of them had, like me, grown up in a small Ohio town before leaving for Ohio State. To a man, all of them had found that couches coud satisfy them more than a women ever could, and that books are really just zipped HTML, and nobody really checks PGP signatures.

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago (3 children)

I don't get it. So he did not fuck a couch? Did he just want to become a couch?

[–] [email protected] 27 points 3 months ago

Reject women, return to couch.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago (1 children)

He doesn't want to fuck a couch or be fucked by a couch, he wants to be the couch doing the fucking

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

They call them couchies and they go to conventions in couchsuits

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 3 months ago (1 children)

It says that "No, JD Vance Did Not Say He Had Sex with Couch Cushions" then it says FALSE. So he did fuck a couch. Thanks for clearing it up!

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

There was a fact check about this recently that actually had to be retracted.

He didn't WRITE about having sex with a couch. There's no way to factually disprove him having sex with a couch... There's also no way to prove he did... but it's impossible to be 100% certain that he's never fucked a couch.