this post was submitted on 17 Jul 2023
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Hello it is me, I did not die in my sleep
I clenched my jaw while fears did seep
Into my thoughts and out my pores
A fear response one can't ignore
She cries and screams, a constant shout
All the things I dare not talk about
I cannot keep going, I'm at an edge
A metaphorical one-way precipice
Memories bloom at the base of my head
Can't make friends like this
I'm a weirdo and a freak
Can't make amends like this
My future is quite bleak
Can't keep myself safe
Can't keep up with the race
Can't help but wonder if I'd be better off dead
So I'm going back to bed
Though often scary and dark,
it's important to mark
That we are not our thoughts.
Sometimes echos from our past;
Sometimes random, fleeting, fast;
Sometimes fearful premonition.
They are past. They are future.
They are pure abstraction.
None of these are real
even though they feel
Like the truth.
Do you want to know the meaning of Nirvana?
I understood it once - I think. I think...
And then I lost it... because I think. I think?
It's better you're in bed
than being irreversibly dead
you're a nice friend i think
time to get some water to drink
💧💧💜💜