this post was submitted on 24 May 2024
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First born nipper of seven weeks is well for which I count my blessings. Fresh challenges for daddy though: I don't have the emotional and physical comfort from my girlfriend that I had become accustomed to. Obviously, she is looking after a baby for everything she's worth, with me right behind her. We're breastfeeding. Circumstances conspired for me to get away for a night out a week ago - for the first time - with my best friend and it was wonderful. I was a lot less stressed afterwards and had a lot more to give the next day. But it also reminded me of the time before we had our baby; fun, sex, freedom, all that jazz. We managed to have some rushed sexy time a few weeks ago (thanks grandpa), a couple of brief cuddles and a couple of limited heart-to-heart chats but really I feel like I'm basically just a cook, potwash, caretaker and babysitter. Whilst being hyper-focussed our baby, she also tries her best not to overload me, which I'm grateful for. But I'm not getting much love, care, understanding or respect from anywhere at the moment. Nice moments with my daughter just about keeps me in the game tbh. Do any of you recongnise this? Can you offer any light at the end of the tunnel, recommend what to do? I'm feeling very strapped in. Thanks

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 5 months ago

I'm not getting much love, care, understanding or respect from anywhere at the moment

It's part of parenthood. Your girlfriend and daughter need you. Some of your needs have to take a back seat for a while until everything settles down.

I went through the same. Things will improve with time. As your daughter gets older, you'll find more freedom.

You mentioned spending time with friends. Take a bit of time for yourself, especially if you feel recharged afterward. I didn't, and I think it made my life harder.

And like other posters said: take your daughter out in the stroller so your girlfriend has time to herself as well.