thenextguy

When I was a kid, I used to dial 911 all the time. Because all you'd get was a recording.

"The 9 1 1 emergency number is not in effect in the area where you are. If this is an actual emergency please hang up and dial your local emergency responder."

I'd eat peaches every day.

It's a form of compression. Shortest words are used most often, or in an emergency.

Such as 0118, 999, 881, 999, 119, 725...3

I thought your mother was a hamster.

Peaches come from a can.

.eieio

Justin Hammer, except he can't dance.

In my experience silently failing just leaves you standing there waiting for your beer forever, or until someone reboots the universe.

"Raising Cain" John Lithgow could possibly fill all four boxes.

Is that the head from the headless horseman's horse?

If Dracula's cat had a dog.