Thanks for sharing! If you ever do find yourself on a stage, do let me know.
I have experienced all of the emotional changes you describe. It turns out I was depressed the whole time and thought it was normal. I too was unaware of the general edge everything had.
My libido is also gone, but it was mostly an annoyance for me so no notes.
I'm definitely going to try cannabis again. It felt like a placebo honestly. Maybe it will be different now.
If the effects of HRT sound magical to you, there's a reasonable probability you could be trans.
I spent years reading trans communities on the internet, out of interest, while assuming I wasn't trans myself. Now that I have started transitioning, my only regret is not starting sooner.