Take a look at immich!
Does a lot of what you stated above. Plus, it has machine learning built in so you can use features like 'memories' and face detection, etc. I transitioned from Google photos to immich a little less than a year ago and haven't looked back!
AFAIK, not yet. I think they are working on adding the "free up space" capability but I think that may only remove them from the device not the cloud. However, I am on Android so not sure how that would work for iCloud. If you can't find the answers in their documentation, you can search or ask in their discord channel.