Neurodivergent folk are told in thousands of ways, small and large, that we are both too much and not enough at the same time. It is crazy making.
These are opinions and not very good ones.
The vast majority of the things that we are criticized for are not actually requirements. We are mostly criticized for things that are the optional extras that makes the critical person feel comfortable. If it is not their job to make you comfortable, then it is not your job to make them comfortable.
All that we have to do in life is to be Perfectly Fine Human Beings.
A Perfectly Fine Human Being:
~ Keeps themselves and their environment clean enough not to negatively impact someone else’s health.
~ Obeys the civil law. Read it for yourself.
~ Does not purposely aggravate others. That is just self-preservation.
~ Does their share and only their share. Get that spelled out in the beginning and preferably in writing.
~ Honors any contract freely entered into. If it isn’t in the contract you are not responsible. Read the contract.
~ Keeps themselves to themselves. Peopling is optional, but if you choose to people you have implicitly agreed to play by their rules.
~ Quietly walks away from people and situations that they find unhelpful or unhealthy.
This is all it Takes to be a Perfectly Fine Human Being just as you are. Every thing beyond this is extra and completely optional.
I’ve been at this neurodivergent thing for 51 years (diagnosed as dyslexic in 1972 and autistic in 2021) and have cultivated a wonderful group of fellow neurodivergent folks. The one thing that makes the single biggest improvement in our lives is learning to love our quirks. Fly, be free to be your quirky, adorkable selves. Being adorkable is adorable.
Hey, thank you for sharing. You pulled it back together, good. I’m also bipolar and a few other goodies.
Lithium poisoning so sucks. The shaking and the queazy and the disorder thing is subtly different that is is really hard to catch. My psychiatrist at the time didn’t catch it, and well that was a fun suicidal ideation episode.
I’ve gone down several times in my life. Each time I get better at getting better. It’s not the falling, it’s the getting back-up. It’s about losing less ground each time. It’s about being ruthlessly honest about what the triggers are. It’s about not relying on hypomanias to get stuff done. It’s about letting go of the outcome.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, drink your water, do your mindfulness & exercises, take you meds & do your therapy. But if one more person tells me to breath, we will be having words, short, sharp and explicit words.
Maybe some day I’ll share my story. Right now I’m stable with therapy and meds. The business is going well. And the sigle biggest improvement is my DH taking his own mental health seriously. Therapy and meds for everyone!
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding. Your back and may any future moments be mild and short. Hugz