I find hate and anger lead people in to fights they can't win or that won't lead them to victory.
Right. If I'm in a hate contest, the other party could easily win. Theirs is natural to them, and my hate is a spurt of energy that ends. I posted because I realize having endless compassion is unsustainable.
At the same time, hate is the only thing that got me to do real punches... But I do go back to giving them compassion again whenever I stop hating them.
Hating is energy intensive if you pair it with appeasing, which I've done. Rapidly switching between fantasies born of hate and fantasies born of fearful appeasing is intense. If I need to learn hate, I need to also find a way to take a calm break.
If you were a slave, and I were your master, and the only way for you to be free were to strike your blow to kill me, what would you do?
That does help start my imagination where I imagine being a slave starting my escape. Doesn't matter if you feel compassion for the slave owner. The option to end slavery is as simple as that.
I understand applying this logic for other people, but I do not understand it well for me. I was told it's because I do not give myself the compassion I give to others. That's the effect of me being in victimized positions before. Perhaps I should listen to more Kwame.
The #Metoo movement was really good for me. I got to be less isolated and more supported
I looked at the timeline. It makes me feel a little better to reframe it as "only Taiwan got taken."
That validates how my depression and anxiety have been bouncing off each other more severely. At least I'm not having bloody noses. I'm sorry you had those.
Yeah I'm tapering.
Is what I mentioned common symptoms of CPTSD? Because I do have it.
I have OCD and do compulsions all day. All that you said is good for seeing what my compulsions are, more details about them, and how they affect exact parts of my life.
I actually don't respond to a lot of hexbear comments because everyone seems so much better at speaking than me. I don't practice confronting people in real life so the confronting way people on here constantly speak in is awesome. If it weren't for the depressing news I'd spend all day on here.
Today I went out, bought something, and had a few interactions with random neighbors. All of which can be filled with what feels like paralyzing choice making to me. You definitely made a good example out of yourself by typing this out, and I'm really thankful for it.
Can you just say it was for a vaccine not offered in the US?
I didn't think so at first while reading the comments, but the vaccines are one of them. We have the highest Covid death and infection rate and we need to save our immune system for all the times we catch Covid. (Plus other diseases that anti vaxxers increase the death/infection rates of.)
They are far away, but the threat that they'll be back soon always seems near. Maybe it's just CPTSD though