Just because it is here as a meme doesn't make it a symptom. People's crusade against self-diagnosis is really getting ridiculous.
I'm autistic and I do this. My SO who is not (but most likely ADHD - sadly, diagnosis is impossible) does it too. It's just a fun thing that lots of people seem to relate to. Let's have some fun here, alright?
You didn't do anything wrong, both is fine. Me and most of my autistic friends actually prefer to call ourselves autistic. Figure out what you prefer first and foremost :)
Speak for yourself only, please. It's s fine if you prefer autistic person, but I and many autistics I know don't. The bottom line is not to teach someone what' s best but to inform them that there may be preferences and to listen to the reason there talking to, not to make blanket statements about what's the right thing.
If you want to convince people it's up to you to bring the evidence. I'm not doing your work for you.
Besides, there have been studies shoing that autistics among themselves don't have the same communication breakdown as they do when interacting with neurotypicals. So if Japan was truly an autistic culture it should be easier for autistic people, but it's not.
Besides, I'm very curious to see how you are going to apply diagnostic criteria for a neurodivergence to a culture. Like, how do you even begin? Is the culture averse to bright lights? Loud sounds? Does the culture go into hyperfocus moments? Does it suffer from PDA?
The only way you could do this is if you were to take stereotypes about how autistic people behave and try to somehow match them to cultural traits.
Link to those studies?
Edit: me being autistic make everything I say useless? Really?
I really admire your ability to mental gymnastics. No matter what anybody says, you always find a way to tell them their opinion doesn't matter. Must be nice to be so secure in your own superiority that nothing can convince you otherwise.
As an autist who studied Japanese and gave up when I realized I just couldn't connect with any of the Japanese people I met - even the ones where it was obvious we wanted to be friends - I can assure you the culture is even more impenetrable for autistics. And I don't have such issues with other autistic people usually, no matter the culture.
Don't mistake your stereotypes for reality and tell everyone people call you out because of political correctness. You're just plain old wrong in this.
Here's the deal: even if she's missing time in "normal" education, time that would normally be spent in class, it's not the end of the world. People have flunked out of school to have fun and got their bearing later. She, however, has a good reason not to go right now.
I can tell you that me pushing myself through all the normal milestones has not helped me - you don't want to see my cv or hear about my experiences with work. It's just sad. And still, finally, last year, I found my niche.
Allow her to be on her own timeline. Don't worry about her missing out. Allow her to figure out what fhe needs to be comfortable in life. Once I was able to set boundaries and prioritize being comfortable without constant fighting I was able and willing to compromise sometimes if I consider it important. But the base is unconditional acceptance of my needs. Without that I was in constant self-defense and senf-preservation mode.
At some point I sat crying in my therapists office. The agency for benefits was pushing for results, and I was so frigging overwhelmed. I told my therapist "I wish I could just do nothing for the rest of the year." He looked me dead in the eye and said: "That can be arranged." I didn't think much of it but suddenly there were no appointments. They dragged their feet on paperwork and I could only tell the agency that I can't get the paperworks, I'm waiting too. They eventually gave up, and I had almost four months where there was nothing to do. I only realized in hindsight what my therapist had done for me, but that break helped me rest and heal a lot, so that we could actually work on things in the new year.
Give her the gift of time and acceptance. Once she feels safe and heard, she is hopefully in a position to take on the challenge of therapy and getting better.
Wild theory: maybe she is unhappy with all the changes and feels like she has no say in anything, and this is the only way how she can get some semblance of agency.
Did she want the school change? Did she have a say in which school she is going to? Do you believe her when she says she can't do something, even if it doesn't make sense to hsyou?
I'm asking the last question because for 35 years, it was not enough if I told people something is too much or I didn't like it. They didn't feel that way, so obviously I was just being difficult. This pattern of accidental gaslighting fucked me up big time.
I'm still in therapy for that, and I still feel unexplainable resistance to doing some things. Nowadays, with the help of a therapist, I found success in not pushing myself, but instead asking myself why I have this resistance. The key is that I'm willing to drop whatever I'm trying to do.
So maybe stop pushing and trying to convince her, and find ways where life currently is difficult for her and work with her to make it less difficult. If she is burned out, time may be the best cure.
That is so cool! Are there any theories as to why elephants have grown so big when one of the closest relatives is so small?
Fun fact: I had to look up what a shrew is, since I'm not a native speaker. It turns out in my native tongue the name has mouse in it, despite shrews not being mice!
That's so interesting! I didn't expect convergent evolution to happen so often, I always thought it was a huge accident when that happens. Are there specific areas where it happens more often or is it combletely random?
Are all reptiles dinosaurs, or did reptiles and dinosaurs have a more distant common ancestor? I often heard things like chickens are the distant cousins of t rex or crocodiles are living dinosaurs. How much truth is there to that?
Yes, please!
I think Chinese and Korean culture share this concept, and I wouldn't be surprised if there were more Asian languages who did. Since a daughter joins her husband's family upon marriage, their children are considered belonging to the other family. I recently learner that apparently there's a saying in Korean that daughters always leave things at their mother's house when they get married so they have a reason to come back despite having left the family.