Jokes

3583 readers

2 users here now

Lemmy users' attempts at being funny

Welcome to the funniest community on Lemmy! The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

Rules

1- Bigotry, sexualization of minors, and hate speech are not allowed.

2- Links of any kind are not allowed in posts. All NSFW or NSFL content must have a proper Content Warning.

3- Remember to treat your fellow users with kindness and respect. Repeated violations will result in a ban.

4- Any attempts at advertising, company/personal promotion, and spamming will result in a ban.

Sister Communities

To partner with our community and be included here, you are free to message me or comment on our pinned post.

Community Moderation

For inquiry on becoming a moderator of this community, you may comment on the pinned post of the time.

founded 1 year ago

MODERATORS

[email protected]

117

Joe and Frank are called in to identify the body of Jim (ttrpg.network)

submitted 9 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

4 comments fedilink hide all child comments

The officer brings Joe into the room and says "I'm afraid his face was heavily damaged in the attack. We've done our best using dental records, but we need you to help confirm his identity."

Joe takes a slow walk around the body and flips it over, spreading his butt cheeks a little. After giving it a look, he sighs and turns to the officer. "No, it's not him."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, Jim had two arseholes."

The officer blinks. He didn't expect to hear that, and is more than happy to have a second opinion ready. With that, he brings Frank into the room.

"Frank, do you think you could tell us if this is Jim or not?" says the officer.

Frank heads straight for Jim's buttcheeks, giving them a little spread before sighing, just as Joe did. "No, it's not him."

"You're certain?"

"Yeah, Jim had two arseholes."

The officer furrows his brow. "Two arseholes. I've never heard of something like that before. You've actually seen them?"

"Well, no, we haven't seen them. But every time we three went out, people would shout 'Hey, it's Jim with the two arseholes!'"

top 4 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[–] [email protected] 16 points 9 months ago (2 children)

I admit, I did give and undignified snort at the punchlime.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

I was hoping for a punchlemon.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

What'd you think about the joke tho?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

I don't remember this scene in my Hardy Boys books when I was a kid