this post was submitted on 26 Dec 2023
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Almost all my life I've absolutely despised children. Pretty much from the moment I stopped being a child I've hated being around children.

It doesn't even matter what the child is doing. Whether they're laughing and having fun or screaming and throwing a tantrum. The sound of a child being loud activates an almost primal rage that I can barely contain.

I've had to leave social gatherings/restaurants/grocery stores all because if I'd stayed I'd have made a complete ass of myself by screaming at a child just for existing.

It's even worse with infants which makes me feel horrible because I know they can't help it. I know the kids don't know any better and it's our job as adults to get them through childhood, but my blood boils when they get loud or demand attention.

Has anyone else dealt with something like this? Is there anything I can do to stop from getting so angry?

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I would echo the recommendation for counseling. However, is this a larger issue or unique to children? Do you find yourself getting disproportionately angry at other sources of annoyances? Answering that question might help you know whether there is a larger need to address.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I struggle with a lot of sounds, having a sensory processing disorder, the list of which is far too long to write out here. So I totally understand the frustration and how rage inducing it is, you are definitely not alone. Especially when people don't understand it's not a patience issue, it's a 'my brain isn't wired the same way as yours and it genuinely cannot be fixed' issue.

Other people have mentioned therapy, which is definitely a good idea. They can help you find ways to channel the energy into something else, or help you find the root cause (if it's a children-specific thing, and not just a general sensory issue), or teach you good cognitive behavioral therapy practices.

In the interim, since finding a good therapist for you can take a lot of time, I would definitely recommend some form of earplugs. Mine have saved me and my sanity so so so many times. If I can recommend a particular pair, I would suggest the Loop Switch, since they let you adjust the sound reduction levels on the fly - but any brand / even the foam tip ones (as long as they fit you properly!) can help immeasurably. For me, just knowing I have earplugs with me helps dealing with these sounds, even if I don't wind up using them, just knowing the option is there. Some form of stress ball or those grip / forearm strengtheners might also be of use for you? It can be a good distraction, as well as allowing yourself to let off some of the steam in a relatively healthy and inconspicuous manner.

And kudos for knowing this is a problem for you, and looking for help on how to improve it. I hope you're able to make progress you want, one way or another. Good luck, OP - we're rooting for you

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

IMO They're just small humans and like their larger counterparts some are worth my time and some aren’t. You sound ageist. My partner hates kids, much like you, but has slowly become fond of a select few we know. I’ve never really minded kids - but I’ve always been able to hand them back as I don’t have any of my own.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

How loud is loud? Is it only loud children or children of any volume? How do you feel about loud adults?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I was a little like that until I had a kid myself. Much less than you perhaps, but I didn't have fun with kids, I never knew what to do, what to tell them, and I would be very unforgiving with kids who are cheating or lying for fun.

I always thought that when you have one, yours is different.

When i meet my soulmate, I knew she would be an awesome mother and it helped me retain some faith. We ended up having a boy who is now 4 and a half.

I must admit, I didn't know I had this much patience in me. Still not knowing what the hell I'm doing but I lowered the bar as much as I could : he's happy, and he's fed.

Now it's not always easy, and he tests my limits daily by pushing all the proper buttons. Sometimes I ask my girlfriend for an.... Emergency relief.

But now I kinda understand how to enter children's world. Doesn't work with all of them, and sometimes I must adapt. I still have a hard time tolerating crying over nothing serious, but I found ways to go around that and give hugs.

I try to remind myself of old memories when I did some very similar things with I was a kid, sometimes I'm not very proud...

All in all, I'm not telling to have kids, but just to say it can change. I just happened to have taken the "hard way", and I didn't regret any of it.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Welcome to Lemmy. Welcome to autism.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

By undergoing behavioral therapy.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 1 year ago

You seems to react to high pitched voice/sound of children. Hate the noise not the origin

[–] [email protected] -1 points 1 year ago

That's the fun part, you don't!

[–] [email protected] -2 points 1 year ago

lucky you, hated those fuckers even when I was one.

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