this post was submitted on 16 Dec 2023
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[–] [email protected] 39 points 9 months ago

How... adorrible.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Oh my gosh he's just so cute! This is why we need Gene editing. Screw long life and super intelligence, I want spider turtle!!!

[–] [email protected] 21 points 9 months ago (1 children)

This is too far. It’s just plain heathenistic.

Everybody’s worried about sharks or drop bears or pit bulls… Spider turtle related concussions would be through the roof.

We’d have to wear hard hats in the forest. They’d be dropping out of trees, bonking us on the heads like coconuts.

You’d be trying to go to sleep, but your back hurts, like there’s a knot in it. Nope, you’re lying on top of a spider turtle. It’s shell has been giving you back problems for weeks!!

Imagine… just imagine finding one in the toilet at 2 am. You’d feel way too guilty to pee on it & you’d have to use the other bathroom.

You see cute. I see cold floors & a long, lonely distance with a full bladder… terrifying.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago (1 children)

🤣🤣🤣

I think you just came up with a fantastic writing prompt for a short story!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

If anything develops into a screenplay, I want an EP credit 😉

[–] [email protected] 17 points 9 months ago (2 children)

Yea this is going into my next dnd campaign

[–] [email protected] 13 points 9 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

HP Lovecraft would be proud!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 9 months ago

Gonna make this the animal companion for my Drowid.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago (2 children)

It’s the next evolutionary step, obviously.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago (1 children)

No. The next step are wings. Imagine flying spiders. 😍

[–] [email protected] 14 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (2 children)

1 unkillable flying turtle spider for you

1000013501

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Evolution, baby! 😁

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

Deploying automated persistent AI-directed free electron laser botswarms now

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

It can only be defeated by the crab-turtle-spider - the final step in evolution!

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago (1 children)

o no he looks so sad he has got low self esteem 1000013502

[–] [email protected] 6 points 9 months ago

*low shellf esteem.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

We've got these already, called a coconut crab, and it's not unlikely that they killed and ate Amelia Earheart.

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/coconut-crabs-eat-everything-from-kittens-to-maybe-amelia-earhart-180948206/

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago) (1 children)

This is just a (very cute) crab with not many extra steps.

Carcinization is an example of a phenomenon called convergent evolution, which is when different groups independently evolve the same traits. It's the same reason both bats and birds have wings.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago (1 children)

And there are soooo many of those that ends up in crabs that some evolution cientists joke that we all will end up in the perfect shape.

A crab shape

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

We are all but mere stepping stones of our species glorious path of evolving into crabs.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 9 months ago

I think I found my new favorite starter Pokémon.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 9 months ago (1 children)

Oh no. No, we do not need an armored spider

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

It will have a mana bar next.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 9 months ago

This creature’s existence is what brings about the creation of hand-held linear particle accelerators (HLPAs), and the nature of warfare is forever changed.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 9 months ago

OMG I WANT IT.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 months ago

the spirtle

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 months ago

You just ruined a perfectly good turtle