this post was submitted on 14 Sep 2021
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RaisedByNarcissists: for the children of abusive parents

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I was housed recently. Lost my place and my Npartner. Had to move back in with Nparents. Npartner was bad, but Nparents are a whole other level of bad. I was in jail for 1 day. Nparents are comparably bad as the jail. The jail didn't allow me to use my prescription meds and confined me. Npartner was more about the silence treatment and immense passive aggression.

Nparents, I have some freedom of movement, but:

severely limited freedom of movement (I'm 30, have to ask permission, permission which may be arbitrarily withheld, not allowed to use public transport (I can’t drive, disability), have to sneakily use meds, constant insults, fat shaming (my bmi is 20), being told everyone they know hates me, constant threats of being evicted, threatening to call cops on me, pretty limited food despite there being enough food in the house, not allowed to go to food bank, soup kitchen, have previously thrown away my meds, trying to discourage me from having privacy, constant worry about the internet/electronics being monitored, strict speaking requirements when I’m near them, many banned conversation topics, dress code, strong discouragement of contact with friends/extended family, enforced eating etiquette, not allowed to displays symptoms of my disability (when it acts up, I’m required to try to hide it – then they later chastise me by saying ‘see, i told you, you have no symptoms), prohibiting anti-perspirant, required to ‘cleaning’ my armpits multiple times per day with some kind of chemical that burns, threats of being forced to wax my armpits (i’m a male), prohibited from doing calming activities like meditation, requirement to be ‘productive’, constantly told I’m not productive, requirement to agree with them in ‘conversation’ when they are mocking homeless/minorities/disabled people, disallowing me to use accessibility devices, the fact that they freely walk into 'my' room regardless of whether or not i'm changing (was sexually assaulted by them previously), Nbrother has previously approached my friends to try to turn them against me, and more.

Nmom occasionally pretends to be understanding. I spoke to her about living in a homeless shelter and just storing my stuff at her house. Thoroughly chastised.

All of this is 1 week in. I'm definitely going to be evicted from here. Nmom is very unhappy that I receive welfare and has already begun taking action to cause financial dependence on her. Any advice here? I plan to refuse to voluntarily give access to my bank account or my electronics - I plan to change majors passwords every week. She will demand control over my finances, it has happened in the past.

Nparents definitely causes fleas. When I’m out and about it’s much harder to talk to randoms like cashiers. When I speak to someone and they’re not mean to me, I’m surprised the whole time. The whole Nparent experience strongly encourages some kind of mutism.

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