this post was submitted on 16 Nov 2023
28 points (86.8% liked)

The Monkey's Paw

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Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey’s Paw! No strings attached.*

Just create a post that starts with “I wish ___”. Other users will then grant you the wish, and probably not how you intended.

^(*)^ ^Strings^ ^definitely^ ^attached.^ ^Satisfaction^ ^not^ ^guaranteed.^ ^Wish^ ^will^ ^likely^ ^backfire.^

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 25 points 11 months ago

No, you're misunderstanding. There's supposed to be a downside to a monkey's paw wish

[–] [email protected] 26 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Granted. Microsoft somehow gets exclusive legal rights to Linux. Linux is now Windows with a penguin mascot.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Been there. Done that. Xenix - aka Microsoft Unix was one of the most popular *nix for microcomputer hardware in the early 80s.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 11 months ago (1 children)

See this is why history rules. No matter what kind of horrors I can think up, it's probably already happened before.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 11 months ago

It's your IRL "Simpsons did it" moment

[–] [email protected] 20 points 11 months ago

Granted. But owning to your obvious wisdom, all their support requests are being routed to your inbox ;-)

[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Great. They immediately switch over, with no time to port things, and a lot of important things, such as government things, break.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

in my goverment job things break every day with MS.
fortunately my job is not important.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 11 months ago

We kind of sort of do, but it's called Android...

[–] [email protected] 7 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Granted. Everyone has now eclipsed your knowledge level

[–] [email protected] 6 points 11 months ago (2 children)

They're all using Gentoo now.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

iamben? is it you?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Except the people previously using Gentoo who have all moved to Linux From Scratch.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 11 months ago

Granted but for stability all future code must be submitted in brainfuck

[–] [email protected] 2 points 11 months ago

Granted. Everyone now uses arch and the internet's bandwidth is now severely reduced because a good portion of communication now has the overhead of 'I use arch btw'.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Granted

Now Linux is a propetary software full of bloatware who efficiently steal the private information of his users but can't play games.