While I don't agree with their decision or reasoning, this is their right to do. At the very least, it is nice that there is any kind of resolution rather than just locking down and preventing discussion.
I think the frustrating part of this is what appears to be a double standard in which a small instance is being held to a different standard than larger instances. If the ml admins don't want any NSFW communities federated to their server, then that is fine (and I would argue the *moe communities are a stretch to consider NSFW, but whatevs). However, communities on other instances that have similar content or even much more explicit content are still being federated with ml. Just looking at the largest instance, lemmy.world shows other *moe communities (1, 2), moe-adjacent communities (1, 2), and even extremely explicit content/communities (pulled up this very NSFW user from my blocklist for example). Even if we just look at communities that are local to ml, the content on the *moe communities doesn't seem out of line with art that I have seen in the honkai star rail community on their local instance.
In any case, I think this issue validates concerns that were raised after the initial defederation happened that the ml admins could come to view any kind of lewd content or fanservice as anathema to their instance. It begs the question if the anime or manga communities on ml are on borrowed time. If the admin's metaphorical Eye of Sauron passes over their community on a day a lewd clip, key visual, or trailer is posted, that could be it for them.
I think the best plan long-term is to try to build those communities here, in a space that is explicitly welcoming to the content. If we build an active and welcoming community here, I am hopeful that users will find it and activity will increase (though discoverability on the fediverse is a huge challenge). As a moderator, it is my job to make sure content in the communities I moderate doesn't cross the line to where a reasonable instance admin would feel the need to defederate and to make sure anything NSFW is marked as such.
Thanks to hitagi for the work on this in the background and the partial resolution. Time to just put this behind us and focus on building positive engagement here.