If I do this I'm not expecting you to know the answer, I just want to discuss our thoughts. What's wrong with that?
this post was submitted on 09 Nov 2023
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Watch the movie then
So... do you all just sit there and watch movies in complete silence?
I used to but I've realized it's much more fun with occasional comments as long as you can keep it low key.
Ideally, yes. Discussion is for immediately after.
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How the fuck would I know?
My wife does this all the time. I make her pause and then we chat a bit. Works well
In this meme, is the cool looking guy you or him?
My sister is ADHD so she legit has real questions that I can totally help with despite having seen the same stuff so far. But of course she has no idea which stuff is intentionally vague and which stuff she hasn't been able to connect that was intended to be solved so far. So if it's an intentionally vague moment my answer is "we don't know yet".
I definitely get that it can be annoying if you have no idea why they are asking. But they wouldn't have learned that behaviour if it didn't occasionally matter. Since this behaviour is common, and ADHD is common, I wouldn't be surprised if it's always the case. But it's probably only some people with ADHD, depending on how theirs presented. And of course some people may have this trait of ADHD without enough of the rest of the traits to be able to get diagnosed.
But yeah, it's one of the traits of ADHD that makes them feel like they must not be smart, despite any evidence to the contrary. Cuz they just don't "get" what are obvious clues to other people. But it's simple topic linking, basically their brains see everything in it's own bubble, and they can be very good at figuring out everything in that one bubble, but if a puzzle in that bubble needs a part from a different bubble, that puzzle is never gonna be solved for them without outside help to find the bubble that has the needed part.
I don't, as far as I know, have ADHD. I did not notice foreshadowing and such until I took an elective in college that broke all that stuff down for cinema.
Now that I know, I notice it. It's like hearing the Wilheim scream. Once you know what it sounds like, you hear it pop up a lot. A Lot. I never noticed it at all before.
Same thing with Hero's Journey in storytelling.
Once you learn to recognize these things, you can't not notice them. Sometimes it ruins things a little, sometimes it makes them better.
If you want to know how to read the clues, watch some youtubes on how to spot everything. People love making videos about it.
Or, just continue to enjoy the ride, but stop asking for it to be explained. If you want the explanation either learn the clues or just read a spoiler summary beforehand. Don't risk ruining it for someone, who overhears your conversation by accident, when they just wanted to enjoy seeing the story unfold moment by moment.
That's a completely different thing...
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Devils advocate here, because this sounds like my wife and I. She gets really annoyed at me, but she doesn't understand that I don't expect her to answer my questions. I just need to let them out of my head so I can concentrate on the rest of the movie. What she could do is either just ignore me, or agree that it's a valid question and let it go. On some occasions, I may ask a question because I feel I may have missed something that she might have caught, but usually the questions are more rhetorical in nature...
If you are in a relationship and that is your dynamic and you are happy with it, you do you. As long as you aren't annoying other people.
My husband likes to ask questions during movies and shows. I had to talk with him on boundaries.
I don't like to talk in movie theaters. People paid good money to enjoy the experience, including us. Screams, gasps, etc are fine. Reading subtitles to vision impaired people is fine. Dissecting what has happened to whom is not. We are there specifically to have questions posed and then answered by the movie itself, not by people in the audience. We can tear apart the flaws on the way home.
At home, it's different, we can usually pause it, and I don't mind as much discussing in real time. Unless it is clear it is about to be answered if you just watch for another minute. Then the answer is "just wait" and boom, story happens.
Same here with my girlfriend, except we both do it, even though I might a bit more sometimes.
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