this post was submitted on 09 Nov 2023
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Devils advocate here, because this sounds like my wife and I. She gets really annoyed at me, but she doesn't understand that I don't expect her to answer my questions. I just need to let them out of my head so I can concentrate on the rest of the movie. What she could do is either just ignore me, or agree that it's a valid question and let it go. On some occasions, I may ask a question because I feel I may have missed something that she might have caught, but usually the questions are more rhetorical in nature...
I don't think the reasons are really important, there's no "devil's advocate" to play here. If it's annoying then it's annoying, it takes someone out of the experience, even if you didn't intend it that way. That doesn't really get changed by understanding the mechanics behind it.
I'm just offering another perspective, that's all... Feel free to ignore me like my wife learned to do.
The additional perspective was interesting, I was just talking about the "devil's advocate" part. One uses that expression if you want to actually argue for something. But there's no arguing to be done, you can't argue someone out of being annoyed. If you had just shared the explanation I wouldn't have said anything, just appreciated it :)
If you are in a relationship and that is your dynamic and you are happy with it, you do you. As long as you aren't annoying other people.
My husband likes to ask questions during movies and shows. I had to talk with him on boundaries.
I don't like to talk in movie theaters. People paid good money to enjoy the experience, including us. Screams, gasps, etc are fine. Reading subtitles to vision impaired people is fine. Dissecting what has happened to whom is not. We are there specifically to have questions posed and then answered by the movie itself, not by people in the audience. We can tear apart the flaws on the way home.
At home, it's different, we can usually pause it, and I don't mind as much discussing in real time. Unless it is clear it is about to be answered if you just watch for another minute. Then the answer is "just wait" and boom, story happens.
Same here with my girlfriend, except we both do it, even though I might a bit more sometimes.
It sounds like you should explain that to your wife.
I have... we're good. 33 years good.
Gratz!