this post was submitted on 06 Nov 2023
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Not the Onion

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The article link doesn't work anymore, so here's an archived one: https://archive.ph/9bmVZ

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[–] [email protected] 98 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Capitalism 101 - sell whatever you can, whenever you can.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

What are they selling? Apart from ads and your data. If anything it sounds like they’re saying the stress will make you consume less so it’s a horrible opportunity to lose weight if you haven’t been able to before. Still a weird take though as war is usually associated with being malnourished, might be the reason it seems offensive rather than trying to make the best of a bad situation.

[–] [email protected] 87 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Who the actual fuck approved this for publishing?

[–] [email protected] 62 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Nobody approved it, its just AI generated and automatically published.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago

Fire is a good servant but a bad master.

[–] [email protected] 61 points 1 year ago (4 children)

Really, really, really reaching for that silver lining.

Like, Mr Fantastic or Elastigirl type reaching.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

More like a 16 years old stretch Armstrong left at the bottom of a drawer…

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Don't forget Luffy! 😁

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Was Mr fantastic bad? I want to watch it.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Wait, are we talking about the same thing? I meant Mr Fantastic of the Fantastic 4 comic, for which I believe all the movies should probably be buried somewhere. I don’t remember them that well. Captain Fantastic with Viggo Mortensen is great, but a totally different genre. Fantastic Mr Fox is a hoot. Not sure what other options it could be.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

I thought it was about the trumpet player in the Blues Brothers

[–] [email protected] 34 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Lose up to 25% of your body weight with these handy landmine tips.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Do they have updated bmi charts for every combination of limb loss?

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago

This apparently is Dr. Raz Hagoel’s Linkedin and his clinic’s website.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Something tells me this was AI being told to write a tweet about weight loss based on what current events are being discussed online

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yes, if you read the article it seems very AI-generated indeed.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Reminds me of grace lees excellent essay on how dystopian absurdity like this happens. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7O5bBHLnCo

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That has to be a record in inappropriateness.

It's like saying that concentration camps are great for losing weight and reducing urban over population in the ghetto.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

the smell of ash and charred flesh in the air is terrible. on the other hand you can use it to form a healthy disgust of food. loose weight and look great on the beach. the sea water will wash your sins away. the sand will exfoliate your guilt.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago

And Palestinians can lose weight by not having food.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 year ago

Another shining example of why the Jerusalem post is a propagandistic rag. And not a very good one at that.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

This loops around to being genius

You did share it

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Holy hyper-normalization :O

ETA: One could figure out the state of our media and our (online) existence by just thinking a bit about those beautiful hashtags.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Aaaaa modern problems require....aaaaa.....¿modern solicions?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

The machines are getting better at manipulating us.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

What do ruzzians do when they know they need to loose a few pounds? They go to war of course! Did you know that a bullet hole can make you loose anywhere between one and fifty pounds? And that's not including the actual brass or lead. Larger motion tends to remove pounds fast! Way fast. Many of the same ruzzians will start with just one and then gather a bunch of weight loss really quickly. Others like to get the one shot and gradually, over a period of several months loose a lot of weight. Like a lot. Some are not even flesh and bones, some are just bones.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

No need for work if you're dead

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Here me out. Exercise is important in a time of unrest. Maybe the most important. How else do you expect to out run those bombs...

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Ho hooooowhaaaat the F is right, that's crazy

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Finally, a bad take everyone can agree on.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Don't worry, in a not far away future we all will be able to pay to get rid of those annoying and disturbing ads in all our social media services!

Obligatory /s

[–] [email protected] 2 points 10 months ago

truly an absurd reality we live in

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Surely this has to be satire... 😔