Capitalism 101 - sell whatever you can, whenever you can.
Not the Onion
For true stories that are so ridiculous, that you could have sworn it was an !theonion worthy story.
What are they selling? Apart from ads and your data. If anything it sounds like they’re saying the stress will make you consume less so it’s a horrible opportunity to lose weight if you haven’t been able to before. Still a weird take though as war is usually associated with being malnourished, might be the reason it seems offensive rather than trying to make the best of a bad situation.
Who the actual fuck approved this for publishing?
Nobody approved it, its just AI generated and automatically published.
Fire is a good servant but a bad master.
Really, really, really reaching for that silver lining.
Like, Mr Fantastic or Elastigirl type reaching.
More like a 16 years old stretch Armstrong left at the bottom of a drawer…
Don't forget Luffy! 😁
Was Mr fantastic bad? I want to watch it.
Wait, are we talking about the same thing? I meant Mr Fantastic of the Fantastic 4 comic, for which I believe all the movies should probably be buried somewhere. I don’t remember them that well. Captain Fantastic with Viggo Mortensen is great, but a totally different genre. Fantastic Mr Fox is a hoot. Not sure what other options it could be.
I thought it was about the trumpet player in the Blues Brothers
Lose up to 25% of your body weight with these handy landmine tips.
Something tells me this was AI being told to write a tweet about weight loss based on what current events are being discussed online
Yes, if you read the article it seems very AI-generated indeed.
Reminds me of grace lees excellent essay on how dystopian absurdity like this happens. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7O5bBHLnCo
That has to be a record in inappropriateness.
It's like saying that concentration camps are great for losing weight and reducing urban over population in the ghetto.
the smell of ash and charred flesh in the air is terrible. on the other hand you can use it to form a healthy disgust of food. loose weight and look great on the beach. the sea water will wash your sins away. the sand will exfoliate your guilt.
And Palestinians can lose weight by not having food.
Another shining example of why the Jerusalem post is a propagandistic rag. And not a very good one at that.
This loops around to being genius
You did share it
Holy hyper-normalization :O
ETA: One could figure out the state of our media and our (online) existence by just thinking a bit about those beautiful hashtags.
bruh
Aaaaa modern problems require....aaaaa.....¿modern solicions?
The machines are getting better at manipulating us.
What do ruzzians do when they know they need to loose a few pounds? They go to war of course! Did you know that a bullet hole can make you loose anywhere between one and fifty pounds? And that's not including the actual brass or lead. Larger motion tends to remove pounds fast! Way fast. Many of the same ruzzians will start with just one and then gather a bunch of weight loss really quickly. Others like to get the one shot and gradually, over a period of several months loose a lot of weight. Like a lot. Some are not even flesh and bones, some are just bones.
No need for work if you're dead
Here me out. Exercise is important in a time of unrest. Maybe the most important. How else do you expect to out run those bombs...
Ho hooooowhaaaat the F is right, that's crazy
Finally, a bad take everyone can agree on.
Don't worry, in a not far away future we all will be able to pay to get rid of those annoying and disturbing ads in all our social media services!
Obligatory /s
truly an absurd reality we live in
Surely this has to be satire... 😔