this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2023
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Sam Bankman-Fried thought there was a 5% chance he would be president, Caroline Ellison testified in his trial::Sam Bankman-Fried told Caroline Ellison that he could one day be the US president, she testified on Tuesday.

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[–] [email protected] 77 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I don’t think SBF has enough criminal allegations to be president. He hasn’t even grabbed someone by the pussy.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 year ago

He did grab Caroline Ellison's pussy. But I guess if it's consensual it doesn't count.

[–] [email protected] 77 points 1 year ago (2 children)

He's using the trump defense. "I might be president one day!" so the judge goes "Oh, in that case, we're done here, can't be prosecuting the future President of the United States, case dismissed" and then Einstein appears and gives SBF $100% and an bald eagle weeps a single tear and they go for pizza and cheeseburgers.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You call this erotic fiction? Bwa!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

S...s..senpai....I can't hold it in anymore uWu

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Is Scrotus short for Scrotius?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

What do you think, cheese-grater (I shortened yours - you're welcome)?

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

"I was playing bronze 3 league of legends during the debate"

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (2 children)

My man had an overinflated ego...

[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Worth noting that "con man" is short for "confidence man". Inflated egos help with the confidence needed to trick people out of money.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They are lying you just got conned!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

They are lying you just got conned!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Thanks for the info.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago

I think that'd happen to anyone when people are literally handing you billions of dollars.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Tell ya what. That’s a weird lookin’ gal.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It's more to do with the courtroom artist doing mushrooms.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Edvard Munch has to pay the bills somehow.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

She’s got a kinda primordial dwarf thing going on.

I’m really not turned on.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I think the courtroom artist improved upon what he had to work with.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Really earning the artist part of his title.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And SBF isn’t weird looking?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Oh yeah… he’s kinda wobbly looking too. Bad AI vision.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Heat must be turned way up. Wax is melting.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago (1 children)

This is the best summary I could come up with:


Sam Bankman-Fried aspired to one day become president of the United States, his ex-girlfriend and former Alameda Research CEO Caroline Ellison testified in court Tuesday.

"He said there was a 5% chance he might be president someday," Ellison said on the witness stand in the criminal trial against the disgraced crypto mogul.

In her testimony in a downtown Manhattan federal courtroom, the 28-year-old Ellison said Bankman-Fried shared his ambitions with her during their relationship, which moved in fits and starts over the course of about three years.

The two met while working at Jane Street, a quantitative investment firm, while Ellison was an intern and Bankman-Fried was a trader.

Last week, Bankman-Fried's biographer, Michael Lewis, revealed that the FTX cofounder even considered paying Donald Trump not to run for office in the 2024 presidential election.

A spokesperson for Trump told Insider's Lloyd Lee that SBF has been "outed as a fraudster and someone that can't be trusted."


The original article contains 467 words, the summary contains 156 words. Saved 67%. I'm a bot and I'm open source!

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Getting called a fraudster by Trump… damn that’s got to hurt. How much humiliation can SBF take? What’s next? His mom talks to the press about his bed wetting as a kid?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Getting called a fraudster by Trump… damn that’s got to hurt.

Trump call literally everyone who doesn't kiss his ass a liar ("Fraudster" is too hard to say).