this post was submitted on 29 Apr 2025
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Screenshot of a Tumblr post by indigosfindings:

imagine if someone just like started addressing you as Dipshit, like youre just talking about your day & they say "no way Dipshit, that's crazy." and then maybe you say to them that you would prefer not to be addressed as Dipshit & their response is "well in my major metropolitan area 'Dipshit' is not considered an insult. im not saying i think youre stupid when i call you Dipshit, i call my mom dipshit all the time" so you say Thats cool but please dont call Me that. and then they just repeat that it's something they say daily, they call all of their best friends & lovers dipshits & are called dipshit in return. "my grandma calls me dipshit at the dinner table, it doesnt mean anything." so you say Yes i understand that your friends & grandma arent bothered by being called Dipshit but i am, & i would prefer if you didnt address me as that. and they say "it's literally not possible for me to stop calling you dipshit, and it's not reasonable for you to ask me to, dipshit." anyway this post is about nothing in particular

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

Imagine one would genuinely not care about being called dipshit under the given circumstances. Context and intent are more important than the choice of words. I can't call something retarded, but I can call it demented. Crazy is fine, slow isn't. If it were about people and slurs, both words would be banned, but only one is, leaving the feeling of oppression under the banner of Good rather than it being actually about change for the better.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I've had people say "you" is a slur.

Fuck off.

I could make a more detailed argument, but no. I should not need to.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (6 children)

I understand the desire to have people use your pronouns, and as long as one can see what gender you are "presenting", one should use those pronouns.

If someone prefers other pronouns, then I'm sorry... Many people (me included) have a hard time remembering names... I wouldn't have a chance remembering a large set of different pronouns if I can't even remember the names of that person. A pronoun is a non specific way of addressing someone and a break life saver like "you"...

To to switch to an all inclusive them/they for everybody seems overreaching.

If it's not obvious what pronouns someone prefers, then they shouldn't be annoyed if someone makes repeatedly mistakes.

And this makes it hard to distinguish a mistake from an insult...

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

My siblings, Dipshit and Dipshit, know all about this. 😌

One Dipshit is transfem and is "fine" being called Dipshit; just don't deadname her.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (16 children)

Language is owned by the group.

Individuals don't dictate to the group.

This individual is asserting a definition of "dipshit" that contradicts the definition held by the group.

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[–] [email protected] -4 points 1 week ago (7 children)

I think both is problematic.

If you know that dipshit is not meant in a harmful way by the other person, then why do you care being called it?

Same on the other side, if you know the other person wouldn't like to be called dipshit, why would you call them that?

I really think they both have problems that they need to address within themselves.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (9 children)

That’s not how it works at all.

The person being addressed an issue reasonably and has requested an accommodation that costs nothing.

The other person says nah, can’t be bothered, I don’t care how you feel. Suck it.

These are not the same thing.

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (7 children)

Not wanting people to do things to you is not wrong. I don't want people to defecate on me, even in an affectionate or accidental way, even though it's not harmful. Is that wrong?

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

Yes. One has a problem of being called dipshit...the other is one.

[–] [email protected] -3 points 1 week ago

Studies show self esteem is more impacted by the values a person grew up with than their own values. That means most of the time, developing or changing your own values doesn't increase self esteem. You need to be respected in a way that makes sense in the culture you grew up with. Some people can overcome their birth culture, but not many.

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