this post was submitted on 19 Apr 2025
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Stop Drinking

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This is a place to motivate each other to control or stop drinking. It is also a place for non drinkers to discuss and share.

We welcome anyone who wishes to join in by asking for advice, sharing our experiences and stories, or just encouraging someone who is trying to quit or cut down.

Please post only when sober; you’re welcome to read in the meanwhile.

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"I will not drink today" is such a powerful ally. Such a small, simple thing to commit to.
There will probably come a day when it becomes a very difficult thing to commit to. But luckily, not today.

Slowly, the realization sets in and things start to feel a bit weird:

  • I may never need the corkscrew in my kitchen drawer again.
  • My impressive skills in opening beer bottles using any object within arm's reach are now useless.
  • Should I throw out the collection of funny shot glasses and German beer steins already?
  • What about the bottle of Gin I distilled myself at a workshop in Patagonia, using local ingredients?
  • Or the local bar which is the central meeting spot of my village, where local news are exchanged, networks formed, and where I could often drink for free cause the bartender values my input on new cocktail creations?

Tomorrow I'm invited to a crime dinner where everybody was assigned a role to play during the evening, tailored to their character to make it easy.
I'm the cheerful drunk, a man who "always has a double Scotch in hand and a witty toast on his lips". I guess that's how I presented myself to the world. I'll still attend, and bring a Scotch bottle filled with iced tea. I already informed the host I won't drink.

On Monday we visit my mom. She'll want to drink champagne with us, and take it personally if we say we don't drink, cause she's also addicted to alcohol, but still in denial.

In 2 weeks, my entire office goes to a beer tasting festival, with brewers from all around the world. I was looking forward to it. My boss bought tickets for everyone, which weren't cheap and are non-refundable. Everyone in the office drinks, sometimes at work, too.
Do I go and end my drinking career in style? Probably a very bad idea.
Do I go and only drink alcohol free beer? I don't think I'll have the willpower, and I will get mocked.
Do I cancel and say I don't drink anymore?
Make up another reason? Call in sick? I honestly don't know...

Memories are another thing. So many good memories related to alcohol. So many nights without memories, too... Best not to dwell on it.
On the other hand, so many problems that will just be gone. My beer belly that gets in the way on my road bike. The drunk useless arguments with my wife where we both forget what we're arguing about. The question "can I still drive?". Being completely useless before the afternoon on a Saturday. The shame of waking up and realizing I pissed my pants – again.

Thank you all for the positive feedback on my post yesterday. It really solidified my resolve to make this a long term thing. I will mourn a bit for things that are now in the past. But I will not drink today.

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 21 hours ago (2 children)

"Oh, I'm on this new medication and I can't drink on it", may or may not be a useful fib for your beer festival. There's a surprisingly long list of medication where alcohol is contraindicated, including some common antihistamines.

It's what one of my friends did, said she couldn't drink because of medication and then "Oh, remember when I couldn't drink? When I could drink again, I decided that I didn't want to, so I've stopped."

[–] [email protected] 6 points 21 hours ago

That's exactly the excuse I used at work, and no one has questioned it. I'm still not strong enough to attend company events with alcohol, so I just skip the whole thing. "I'd love to go, but I'm swamped in work and I can't drink on these new meds anyway so I wouldn't be able to participate regardless. You guys enjoy though!"

[–] [email protected] 4 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago)

Personally I didn't use an excuse. Just seemed a waste of time to hide like that. As bad as hiding the booze. I told folks I was an alcoholic and I had a really hard time quitting. It took me decades to even admit there was a problem. It was hard to do and some judged me for it but it helped keep me focused on my goal as everyone around me knew what was going on and my closest friends helped hold me to it by just knowing.

I am Canadian. We have a large German and Austrian ex pat community here that I am friends with. The Europeans were the most difficult. They could not even understand alcoholismand still cannot, though many of them are alcoholics themselves. "It's just a drink" "there's no harm in a little alcohol" "just try a little bit, it's so good."

Stand your ground. It will become much harder than just today. We understand what you will go through to make this happen. It isn't easy but it is so worth it.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

Thank you for your story. From what I read so far you were a daily drinker, so please be aware of the consequences of abrupt quitting. Heavy drinkers have a high risk of seizures, I happen to know this because I found my mother on the floor after she quit abruptly. Maybe check in with a doctor if you feel woozy or kinda funky. Just wanna make sure you are safe. You got this!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 20 hours ago

I was a daily drinker and averaged about 3 beers a night.
When it abruptly doubled in the last couple of weeks, that was my signal to stop.
But it seems like it wasn't enough to make cold turkey dangerous.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 22 hours ago

When it's tough, break it down

"I will not drink today" becomes "I will not drink this hour"

You can do it

[–] [email protected] 7 points 21 hours ago

Please do write some more about this journey.

I'm trying to follow your footsteps...

[–] [email protected] 7 points 22 hours ago

Came here to say the same thing as fisting enthusiast. Take it one hour at a time if one day seems too long. You'll get through it. Before you know it the day will be over and the next morning you will wake without a hangover. You will get mocked? If that's true. Fuck 'em. Cancel the trip. Put yourself first.