this post was submitted on 24 Mar 2025
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[–] [email protected] 73 points 1 week ago (7 children)

Being too tall; I shouldn't have to unhinge my jaw to eat a burger.

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[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 week ago (7 children)
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[–] [email protected] 27 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

Too many things in it.

Good burgers are simple. Bun, patty, maybe cheese, maybe onion, a little salad perhaps. And that's it.

Simple burgers really let the quality of the meat, the cooking, and the seasoning shine through. When that's good, you really don't need anything else.

When a burger is piled to the moon with bacon and guac and relish and six other toppings, you might as well have used the cheapest patty available because you can hardly taste it under all that.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

Good point. Was gonna say just this but it wasn’t my top answer lol. Let the meat shine!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That's the beauty that is the frozen burger patty. I can toss them on a pan and melt a slice of cheese or two and then have the perfect vehicle for emptying my vegetable drawer and condiment shelf of leftovers.

Or a fried egg, now that it is a delicacy.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Overcooking. Most other things you can fix or cover but a charcoal lump burger is gon be one no matter how what you do.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (5 children)

I hate that I have to cook my wife's burgers like this. I have to grossly overcook chicken for her too.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

When the bun disintegrates. Usually, it's the too thin bottom half when way too much moisture is placed on it. You're left holding a mess in your hands. This is a failed combination. Don't use the cheapest buns and don't add a ton of watery crap.

At sit-down, non-fast food joints, the trend for over four decades now has been to overdo it with combinations that are more upscale. The ingredients are mostly fine, except for they stack all that shit too high. It's one more way the thing just immediately fails.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Lack of veggies, it needs lettuce and tomato at the very least

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Somewhat controversially, an egg.

Like, a good, over medium egg? Okay I can do that. I hate a super runny, the yolk blasts you in the face like an unapologetic lover and leaves you to clean yourself up, egg in my burger.

In fact, anything that's made with your Instagram reel in mind. I don't want greasy buns, dripping yolks, and sauces pouring out. If you made a good, juicy burger you wouldn't need all that.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

Oh man, do we have different tastes in burgers. Give me that dribbling barbecue, that A1 sauce, that honey mustard, that sunny side up egg, that rare and juicy burger, them pickles.

I want a messy burger, one I gotta wash my hands off after.

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[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago

Patties that are tall instead of wide

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

Oversized ciabatta buns

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

broken glass, you rarely find it in burgers but it does ruin them?

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

incorrect bun to burger ratio... too much, too little. there is a balance that must be achieved!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

I've rather too little bun than too much bun. I kind of like "trimming" a burger that sticks out too much. Especially if it's got crispy smash burger edges

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 week ago (7 children)

Ketchup. I don't like ketchup.

Pickles. I LOVE pickles but keep them away from my burgers

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

Pickles. I hate them in burgers, but fine when eaten with other food.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

I don't hate them, I eat without problems outside the burgers. But I don't like them in that weird warm state that they get inside the burger.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

Cruelty, violence, atrocity, etc.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

avocado/guacamole

We go out and eat at a nearby restaurant with the office once a week and it's always a highlight when they have a burger on the menu. But like half the time they ruin it by adding guacamole.

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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

Not being fully cooked.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I recall vividly the burger place that came highly recommended by my sister and her then fiancée. They had eaten there on two previous occasions and they were particularly impressed by the quality of the buns that the burger place used. Sis and her SO are very aware of my appreciation for, as well of my critical attitude towards burgers. Suffice it to say, I was looking forward to trying a burger at this highly acclaimed joint.
So I reserved a table for one. I figured I should reduce distractions and go eat alone. I had to wait a couple of days, since the place was fully booked until Friday. When Friday evening came around, I was ready: I had made sure to eat only a light lunch and I had checked the menu beforehand so I knew exactly which burger I wanted (it was called the wrestler).
Service was great and the place had an atmosphere about it that fit wit a burger joint that takes its food seriously. Unfortunately, a guy at the table next to mine was being very loud which annoyed me. So I approached the waiter about this and he said not to let this man distract me from the fact that in 1998, the undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted 16 ft through an announcer's table.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 week ago

I've been bamboozled

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Cucumbers, especially fresh ones instead of pickles.

Too large to eat without cutlery. Double, triple etc. burgers are stupid.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago

Too large to eat

You're supposed to slice them first!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Bacon! Even before I quit eating meat I hated bacon on my burgers, I'm an odd duck though.

Nowadays I'm a simple girlie: black bean patty, some veggie Texas chili, a dollop of green chili sauce, and a sprinkle of cotija is my perfect burger.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 week ago

I’ll pretty tolerant and will eat anything, but the easiest way to ruin a good burger is a soggy bun!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

Sliced tomatoes. One bite and that darn slice launches into orbit. (Or my lap)

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago
[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Pineapple slices or rucola

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Passionately disagree re the pineapple

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[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 week ago

Soggy buns due to either failed to toast the inner side or having it sitting on the pass/heater for too long. Same applies to the meat side and the salad side achieving temperature equilibrium.

Too much height. If I have to disassemble the burger to put it in my mouth, it is not a burger anymore. It is just a mess then. Instead of two or three (or more!) patties stacked, try a bigger bun and an equally bigger patty. Or even a thinner bun to get the patty to bun ratio to what a triple patty burger would offer.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)

for me, lack of juicy toppings and sauces and spicy stuff.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Too many toppings max should be 4 including lettuce and tomato

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

Too tall, my mouth can only open so wide and a burger I must struggle to consume is worse than a easier, albeit shittier burger.

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