Asklemmy

When in Rome…

you absolutely are the asshole if you don't tip. if you can't afford to tip, then don't eat out/just hit up fast food/go anywhere where people are paid a decent wage. most servers make under $5 an hour. if you're not tipping, you're directly exploiting them.

I tried not tipping on a US visit. You can get away with it, but people will be angry.

It's just a silly local custom you have to put up with when in America.

I already replied but I just wanted a top level comment regarding:

that extra expense in a country where everything is already so expensive really makes a difference

That tip expense would be paid either way. There's no difference between charging $9 for a sandwich and tipping $1 vs being charged $10 for the sandwich and no tip. All costs always get passed down to the consumer no matter what, that's just how it works. So it isn't an "extra" expense. It is, was, and always will be in there, one way or another. I agree tipping is weird, inefficient, and difficult to understand, but you're gonna pay no matter what.

Yes, if you don’t tip they will call you a Canadian or worse.

No

I only tip if someone had to do something to get me that food/experience. Picking up food to take home? No tip. The restaurant makes you get your own food from the counter and do your own refills? No tip. The checkout screen might have a tip, but I'm putting 0.

It's not really your personal responsibility, it's the restaurant owners responsibility. If people aren't getting enough tips in a restaurant where tips are the big draw, and that causes wait staff to quit, the restaurant owner should be paying his people to subsidize that.

15-20% also is not a hard rule. There's a lot of places where I live that try to pass off costlier food in shitty atmosphere (think 30 dollar entrees, but the server sees you twice and it's a "theme" restaurant). If I think someone did well and engaged with us as customers and were pretty good about making suggestions on the menu or being extra attentive to drink refills, then guaranteed they're getting within that 15-20%. Anything less than that, then I as the customer who only gets to make that judgement call off of the limited interaction we have, and you'll get 7-10% or 5 bucks, whichever is bigger.

If you look like a tourist you will not have much of a problem. I also live in a country where tipping is never done and when I travel to the US I never tip as I don’t agree with that system and I’m not used to it. Nobody ever told me anything or complained

Grab a gun ASAP maybe you could need it.

No, you don't have to tip. Really unfortunate that some people rely on tips for their wage, but If you don't tip, you're NTA.

Honestly dude if you cant afford to tip. You have no business eating out in america. As a former tip worker, ya they us about 5$ an hour BECAUSE the workers make up for it in tips. and thats a big IF. theirs no obligation on the employer to make sure that they actually come up positive. and Ultimately if you dont tip because you dont agree with tipping? You just forced one of the poorest members of our country to serve you for literally 3$ which quite honestly? kinda makes you a piece of shit if you do that.

OP is probably American and trying to start a discussion. Just accept it as how things are done here and move on. It's really not that bad if you expect it