Asklemmy

I had one friend whose personal rule of thumb was:

• did they come to my table to take my order?
• did they bring my food to my table?
• did they bus my table for me after?

If they did 2/3, then they got a tip.

If you're eating fast food, you don't have to tip, though they've been asking much more than usual lately.

If you're at a sit-down restaurant or having something delivered, tipping is standard.

15-20% is normal.

And it's more offensive to tip low than to not tip at all. A low tip means they did a bad job, no tip might just be a protest against tipping.

Yeah, tipping culture sucks. I prefer eating at places that deliberately tell you not to tip, but they are few and far between.

On a related note, if the bill already has a “gratuity” entry on it, am I still expected to tip on top of that?

Yes you need to tip if you are at a sit-down restaurant with a server taking your order at the table.

Whether or not you or anyone else agrees with that, it is the cultural norm and you would absolutely be rude not to.

If you are uncomfortable with this, choose to eat somewhere where you won't be expected to tip. Don't knowingly go to a restaurant where tipping is expected and then refuse to do so out of principle.

i hope i can avoid ever having to come to the US.

Ribbits

My rule of thumb is whether I'm getting a service or a product. If I eat at a restaurant and I have a waiter, I'll tip. If I eat at a restaurant and there is no waiter I generally don't tip.

For example. I don't tip at ice cream or froyo places. I just served myself. Why would I tip?

Not at all: Not if you avoid purchasing anything involving tipped-services! People who pay their workers so little that they need to be tipped tend not to get my business.

In America, if you don't tip for things like restaurant table service or delivery, rides (like taxis or Uber), car valet, room service, or someone helping you with your bags, yes, you are the asshole. Yes, tipping is usually just subsidizing employers' payrolls, which is bad, but it is also the cultural norm here. You are likely to be publicly dressed down if you fail to tip, even accidentally. Sorry, but that's just the way it is until we get some real worker organization and empowerment going.

So will AITA if I don’t tip?

Yes

Is it really my personal responsibility to make sure my server is paid enough?

Because of the circumstances, taxes, and customs, yes -- in this case -- the responsibility has been pushed onto you.

You're right that it is ridiculous and unfair, but it is also currently the way it is. By not following the custom, the one being most hurt is the one least able to do anything about it. You also have to walk around afterward thinking that you maybe did not do the best thing.

It seems there’s a lot of discussion about getting rid of tipping, but I don’t know how much has changed in this regard.

Some experiments have been tried, and in some places a 'service charge' appears in lieu of tipping (you need not tip in these places).

Also, recently, counter service has put out tip jars and credit-card screen prompts for before-service tipping. You need not do it at all there. However, if a server has served you beyond the counter, tipping after the service is customary.

To tip 20%, take the subtotal (before the taxes), and move the decimal point one to the left. $28.00 becomes 2.800 (10%) then double that result, $5.60 (20%) is a good full-service tip on a $28.00 bill. More is welcome but never expected or required. Tipping down to 15% is fine, too, don't try to make it an exact science. Tipping outside of 15-20% -- after the service -- is usually done to send a message although studies have not shown that servers really care about those messages too much.

Because of this dastardly system, not tipping is particularly bad because tipping is most of their income. By not tipping, they are working essentially for nearly free in most U.S. states (a very low hourly rate, well below poverty wages).

And finally, if you don't know, honestly and politely ask them or a manager. "I'm not from the USA. Can you tell me how much I am expected to tip in this situation?" Servers may be a little generous with their answer, but most people are honest and happy to know that you will not stiff them for their tip.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEQhA-JJlH0

Doordash driver: The federal government values mileage at $0.63/mile for tax purposes. They would value the vehicle expenses of a 6-mile delivery at $3.78.

Minimum wage in my state is $10.10 per hour. A 6-mile delivery takes 20 minutes, or $3.03. Anything less than $6.81 for this delivery, and the driver is earning less than minimum wage.

DD typically pays the driver $2.

A tip less than $4.81 means you expect the driver to earn less than minimum wage.

There's another problem: Doordash's primary rating system for it's drivers is "acceptance rate". The higher your acceptance rate, the higher you are prioritized for offers. The lowest tier of drivers has to wait for everyone in the area above him to be unavailable or to reject an order before he gets to work.

When a customer makes a low-tip or no-tip order, they expect a driver to pay for the privilege of delivering the order, and they are willing to ding the acceptance rating of every single driver in the area who refuses to work at a loss.

"yes, it's wrong. but if you don't tip, you are making the waiter go hungry"

WTF? no, the bosses are. generally bosses are making their employees go hungry, but in the restaurant business they just managed to shift the blame unto the customers. it seems really twisted to me

where i live tipping is really optional, and most don't, unless they're rounding up the bill. i have several friends who do or did work as a waiter and i aways found it sad how they would talk with resentment about the customers they would pretend to like, not sparing a word for their bosses who were sucking them dry with low wages, unpaid extra hours and a fuckin' sick workplace culture

If you're sitting down at a table having a meal with a waiter who is taking your order and bringing you your food then yes, 15-20% tip is strongly encouraged. If you're going into a place where you order your food at a counter and pick it up yourself to take to your table or back to your home then tipping is not necessary.

Yes. You are actually the asshole if you don’t tip.

Tips are a way for service industry workers to avoid taxes. I wonder if there's any reliable statistics on how many workers in the service industry report their tips accurately to the IRS

Try to tip 10% at absolutely minimum, so a $19 bill would be around $21, but I would try to add $1 or $2.

If you pay with a credit card there will be a line where you can write down the tip, and sometimes they will have suggested tip amounts.

If the state you’re going to has 10% sales tax, you can just add however much the tax was, plus alpha.

Sometimes, at some establishments, if you forget the server will run after you and ask for a tip, assuming it was a mistake on your part. Not really that common though!

Hope this helped!