this post was submitted on 05 Sep 2023
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Long story short, it has been my 3rd time trying to graduate from college. How to find real strengths (aptitude that we can't change much)? Just want life to be easier. Thank you.

p.s. w Autism.

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[–] [email protected] 37 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I was a tutor in college and have been working for over a decade at this point in professional settings. I would gladly substitute aptitude with a proper attitude most days. Showing up to work, presenting more potential solutions than just problem identifying, and a willingness to learn will get you further than aptitude. Nobody has aptitude in Autodesk 2023. Nobody has aptitude in ultrasonic non destructive weld testing. You need to learn, be willing to learn, and be willing to try. It does not hurt to be able to communicate strongly either.

What you are strong in can also just be what you are not weak at. Finding all the things you struggle with is just as useful. Don't expect to find "The thing" you are just gifted at. Far better to be resilient and accept failure as it comes and learn. Natural talent is only a small part of the equation unless you are in sales.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

"Unless you are in Sales" is a personality asterisk for so many things hahah!

[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Start by mapping out your ideal life - Is it living at the beach? Traveling the world? Or living a simple country life? Once you know what your life goal is, work backwards to identify what you would need from a career to achieve this.

Maybe there's an income level you'd need to target, or perhaps flexibility is more important. Maybe you'd like a job where you travel or one where you work alone and never interact with anyone.

Write all of these requirements down and start researching careers that fit your needs.

In other words, think of your career as a tool to achieve your ideal life.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

It's probably already a failure to try if you don't want to be in that situation. That's why so many people hate their jobs, they shouldn't have started it.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago

You could consider getting a psychological assessment that will give you an idea of your cognitive strengths and weaknesses. They can also administer instruments like the Strong Interest Inventory if you’re still looking for help deciding on a career.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 1 year ago

Dude I'm almost 45 years old and the closest thing to a career I've been able to find is extensive treatment for my lifelong mental illness. And I mean lifelong, no 7 year old or should have to deal with suicidal ideation.

The point is, it's fine to be and adult and still have no idea what you want to be when you grow up. Sometimes the best you can do is just scrape by, but hey, it's something.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

my therapist recommended a book called "Strengthsfinder 2.0" by Tom Rath. there's an online quiz that you fill out and it determines your personal top strengths.

i was in my 3rd career at that point, having doubts about whether i should continue with this career or consider switching to something else. this book and the quiz helped to reassure me that the career i am in was the right one for me.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Not sure if this is on your radar, but... There are some employers who have hiring programs for people on the spectrum - Microsoft is an example. They typically include a modified interview and support when the employee starts, which can make it easier to be successful. Best of luck!!

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Try this book.

'Discover What You Are Best At' by Linda Gail.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

I was also going to recommend Clifton Strengths Finder. It’s a great assessment that teaches you a lot about yourself. Ultimately led me to switch careers, and I’m a lot happier now.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

What do others think you are good at? We often judge others as a reflection of ourselves, which can be hard if you aren't neurotypical.

[–] [email protected] -3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Probably doing various experiments in society. But if you really have an autism problem, you're not likely to have an easy life in this regard.