this post was submitted on 06 Feb 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] ICastFist 5 points 7 hours ago

Remember kids: you're supposed to shit on the toilet, not on the water cooler.

[–] [email protected] 41 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Sus. If there was a security camera they would have checked that first.

Keep your head down anon, it is a bluff.

Also, stop putting shit in drinking water you sick fuck.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 15 hours ago (3 children)

Poop has DNA from the depositor.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 hours ago

I highly doubt they're going to pay for a DNA test...

[–] [email protected] 13 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Can your employer compel you to provide a DNA sample?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 14 hours ago

Don’t know but this is probably a crime. So a cop can.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

"What is this, wolf hair?"

1000025099

[–] [email protected] 4 points 11 hours ago

Inconclusive inconclusive

[–] [email protected] 83 points 23 hours ago (2 children)

When corporations put fecal matter in the water supply, that’s just the will of the free market and the natural order of things. When you do it, however, all of a sudden it’s “endangerment of life”. Double standard much?

[–] [email protected] 24 points 15 hours ago* (last edited 15 hours ago)

The first two rules of breaking the law without consequences:

  1. Be rich
  2. Don’t be poor
[–] [email protected] 14 points 22 hours ago

Try taking legal actions with them and millions of people would argue how you're killing corporates and let commies take over.

[–] [email protected] 83 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Potentially taking legal action?

[–] [email protected] 64 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I’d definitely be pressing for criminal charges in that situation!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 23 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Putting something full of dangerous bacteria in the water supply isn’t just a prank. If someone put some food safe additive in there to make the water taste or smell bad it’d be less of an issue. (Still a jerk move, debatably.)

[–] [email protected] -4 points 13 hours ago (2 children)

Lemmy and recognizing when some is joking, a great "what if"

[–] [email protected] 5 points 12 hours ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 0 points 12 hours ago

Someone is joking in greentext of all places and they took it seriously lol.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 9 hours ago

The threadiverse's median reading level is about 5th grade

[–] [email protected] 87 points 1 day ago
[–] [email protected] 63 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Remember kids, when doing a crime, check your surroundings first

[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Or don't. These kinds of people should be caught. Ideally, they should be made an example of. Not just punitive justice, but frightening, deterring justice.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 9 hours ago

Exactly. People need to learn to check their surroundings first, and those that don't should be made an example of.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 22 hours ago

May i give you a shit pebble in these trying times?