this post was submitted on 06 Feb 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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top 15 comments
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[–] [email protected] 17 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

piss all over your bathroom just so you don't have to sit down. manly

[–] [email protected] 1 points 21 hours ago

YPPM moment

[–] [email protected] 45 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Just be even lazier and sit down.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

You think I'm touching that piss lid in the dark? It's up for a reason.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 20 hours ago* (last edited 20 hours ago) (1 children)

If it's up, you don't even need to touch it, just sit... Also, clean your toilet. Don't be proud of being a slob.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago) (1 children)

I have a partner with a vagina and I have dick, so that lid is a schrodinger's cat in the dark

[–] [email protected] 2 points 18 hours ago (1 children)

And unlike a cat you apparently have no night vision at all along with your dirty toilet?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

I'm color blind and I can't see in the dark, so yes

[–] [email protected] 1 points 17 hours ago

Fair enough I suppose.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 day ago

And make sure not to hit the water so no one can hear you. Pee like a ninja

[–] [email protected] 4 points 20 hours ago

Adding a small red light by the toilet might remedy this. You get to aim properly and it might not mess with your ability to go back to sleep.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Fool. It doesn't make a sound because you're obviously still asleeping, and just peeing in your dream. But no worries, the familiar warm sensation will wake you up soon enough.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 22 hours ago

I’ve had so many vivid pissing dreams, but never actually pissed the bed (at least not since toddlerhood).

I still wake up in a panic assuming I did though. It’s a weird sensation, you get relief in the dream cause you finally peed, but then you realize you’re in bed and wake up in a panic, then relief again when it’s dry.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 17 hours ago

The salad bowl.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 day ago