this post was submitted on 22 Dec 2024
125 points (95.0% liked)

Asklemmy

44167 readers
1682 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy πŸ”

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 

I have a few.

One is abbreviation hell. Nobody is going to spend the time trying to decipher what you mean when you use over several abbreviations. It is just better if you'd explain than expecting people to understand aside from commonly used abbreviations that are easy to understand.

Another is overstepping your limits for the sake of getting a partner. Compromising your own standards is perhaps one of the worst things you can do when it comes to trying to find dates. Like you're suddenly okay with dating single parents but you don't like children. You're suddenly okay with dating religious people but you're not religious. Things like that. Because it means you're desperate and you're setting yourself up and setting them up for a bad date.

(page 2) 32 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago

They focus on finding other people who fit them and not adjusting to fit other people.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 days ago (15 children)

Assuming that a profile is enough to understand someone. Sure, don’t waste time/drag out meeting someone but… actually talk (video chat) and ask questions before you move things along.

Ask questions important to you and what you are looking for.

load more comments (15 replies)
[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Maybe its the demisexuality talking but i feel like its not common enough to like just be friends with people first? Like on dating apps people want to immediately jump into a date or something and i think it'd be a lot healthier to just like get to know eachother as friends first then decide if you want to date in a few months. I dont understand the desire to go on a date with someone you just met i guess.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago

It might be just me, but all of the best dates and relationships I've had over the years (including my now wife) all started with a spark of attraction upon meeting that we jumped into exploring together and developed a friendship over the course of dating. My wife became one of my best friends long before we got married but that definitely developed over time, while the attraction and romance definitely came on strong right at the get go.

I had a couple times transitioned into dating friends but each time it just didn't fit right (even if the relationship lasted a while) and ended up rather distant from them. Also too, I never had any luck dating online, they all came the old fashioned way.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 days ago

I have never ever ever wanted to "just be friends" first. I am not looking for a new friend. I have friends. I am looking for intimacy that's not typically available for friends, and sex.

Furthermore, the timeline and transition points for "just friends" to "dating" are not defined. If I want to kiss now but we're on a "just friends" track, what do I do? Probably pursue someone who wants what I want, and not spin my wheels hoping the other person will come around

[–] [email protected] 1 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

I think its way healthier and I wish this was the common sentiment.

[–] [email protected] -5 points 5 days ago
load more comments
view more: β€Ή prev next β€Ί