I remember seeing a post somewhere that somebody's local game stop was selling a used steam deck. Maybe try calling around and seeing if any of your local shops have a used one you can try.
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No idea on that inside the US. I saw Japan had like demo setups of the deck like they used to in supermarkets for like the Xbox release. Maybe check q community marketplace, maybe you'll find someone nice enough to let you hold it first? Or just get one and return it if it's not for you.
I have one and I can say it fits me perfectly, but I got big ass hands.
One thing I can say is it's waaaay lighter than you expect it to be, it's definitely comfortable to hold.
Only complaint I have is the control themes available for non controller games is usually pretty bat shit, but if your not lazy you can make your own after a lot of trial and error. Or you can just get a wireless mouse and keyboard.
I disagree, it's kind of uncomfortably heavy for me. But I still don't regret buying it.