Canyonaro is far superior
this post was submitted on 12 Dec 2024
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This has been plagerized directly from a Tex Avery cartoon from the 1950s...
Thats how we view American cars, especially pickups that nobody needs and SUVs that have never seen a path that needed 4WD here in Europe.
Pickups, SUVs, and Vans in America are getting unreasonably large because of poorly-written environmental regulation.
In the mid-2000s, automakers were classifying everything as a "truck" to skirt CAFE (fuel economy) standards. The tilling point was the PT Cruiser being regulated as a truck. So, starting in 2012, CAFE standards started to be based on vehicle footprint.
Ever notice how all the little trucks like the S-10, Dakota, and the old-style Ranger all had 2011-ish as their last year model?
Suddenly, small trucks became effectively illegal, and as fuel economy standards get tougher every few years, the automakers have learned it's easier to just make the footprint bigger than it is to make the fuel economy better. They've since re-released the Ranger, but now it's bigger than the F-150 used to be.
And now it's hit the vans. CAFE outran the small cargo van footprints, so the Nissan NV200, Ford Transit Connect, and RAM Promaster City have all been discontinued in the last 2-3 years because they can't make cargo-hauling vehicles that size any longer.
New York City's Taxi Fleet changed to NV200s a few years back to improve accessibility, and now they can't buy replacement vehicles without either dropping the accessibility and going small or moving to fuck-you-sized vehicles.
The one neat thing though is the Ford Maverick. It's a small 4-seat truck with a half-size bed that comes standard as a hybrid (trafitional ICE is an "upgrade" so it meets CAFE) for like 25 grand. The only real problem is buying one since they only made like 4 of them.
Pff, car users dont need society to get around, everyone knows road and bridge and fuel infrastructure are natural parts of the word that are just there on their own already! /s
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Simpsons did it. Canyon Aarow
12 yards long, 2 lanes wide, 65 tons of American pride, Canyonero!
Smells like a steak and seats 35!
Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts.
Fixed url: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PI_Jl5WFQkA
What some folks may not know is that at around the same time, Ford had problems with tires imploding on SUVs. While not called out in the Canyonero spoof, I always thought it captured the public vibe about big trucks at the time in light of this.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Firestone_and_Ford_tire_controversy
Whoops, you can see where I tried to remove the m. from the youtube URL and messed up!
It's also literally the motto for the Pontiac Grand Prix.
"Wider is better"
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I can tell this is a old meme because $119k is "a lot". Lol
I passed a Lamborghini SUV on the road the other day. I checked and it retails for about $250,000. Motherfucker really dropped a quarter of a million dollars for a RAV4-looking vehicle to haul the kids to soccer in.
EDIT: Lamborghini Urus
Not a cheap vehicle, but that's a medium truck with presumably a pretty incredible tow rating. Not really a passenger vehicle.
Not really a passenger vehicle.
You say that, but I see four doors on it.
Semi trucks have doors too?
not four of them
Fire trucks do.
...medium?
I'm guessing larger than medium are the ones that transport containers, trees, houses, and the like
ah, right
Where I live, a fully loaded truck can be up to 50t without needing any special permits.
Yes, that’s the classification.
To be fair that is the largest consumer model and essentially the most expensive OEM package you can get. And it is very powerful and capable tow vehicle, but the majority of people just use them as passenger vehicles and maybe tow their rv a few times a year(which can be done with was less of a truck).
If you know modded trucks, whether that's purpose built towing or just mall crawler, there are way more trucks over $200k than you would realize. If you ever see a welding truck, big 4x4 lifted trucks with custom beds, those are an easy $250k. But they are being used. Those guys make a easy 6 figures while living in hotels with nothing else to spend it on.
Can confirm, I have an EV for daily use and a F150 platinum for towing a 8.5k trailer, project work for my house, band equipment, etc... The trim package is where a lot of that extra cost goes (didnt really need heated, massage seats but we have a family member that was our sales guy and it was used so waaaaaaay less than MSRP). It is surprisingly fuel efficient when my partner is out of town and I need to run errands. I also live in a rather rural area so I'm not generally clogging up the roads. Also make it a conscious effort to park way out in the back 40 so I'm not creating a shit show for other drivers in the parking lot. The bonus is, that's usually where the cart returns are so its less steps to get them back to the store!
Additional note, it's completely stock aside from a good tonneau cover and some roof racks for kayaks. Lifted pavement princess rides gross me out.
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American culture in general:
"Remember: There is no society - only YOU and the freedom to do whatever you want!"
.... the chef's kiss was in parking your monstrosity next to a Big Sad Box .... a beautiful summary of the general North American society we've created. Millions of years of evolution to get to the point of selfish ignorantly following a life style to park next to a big sad box and buy an overpriced couch you can't afford made by Vietnamese children.
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I often see a car in a crowded parking lot that is too wide or too long to fit in a parking spot, and I have to wonder if the person driving that vehicle is a complete idiot or a complete asshole.
How stupid are you that you chose a daily driver that doesn't work? That you take up so much space that everyone else needs to actively avoid you and curse you because you are so bad at making choices?
Do you regret your choice? Do you constantly think "Fuck everyone else around me, I do what I want.", or do you legitimately not notice how everyone else hates you?
There is a guy at my office building that routinely parks his fucking VW Golf in 4 spaces under the covered parking. Dude it’s not even that nice of a car. Assholes exist regardless of what they drive.
Lived at an apartment complex that had external garages and they had two parking spaces, two single garages, and two parking spaces in these perpendicular to the road pull offs. BMW loved to park diagonal across the two space sections. Too bad for him that apartment had a manager that must have found so much joy in towing cars. They were relentless with their parking enforcement. Pretty sure that guy got towed 3-4 times before he got the hint. Parking was always a pain at that complex…
I once saw an asshole who managed to park a compact car on 4 Spaces, one being a handicapped spot. I took a picture, but cant find it.
That's a bad example because it's a Golf.
Seriously though, pretty much every time I see one, it's either doing something dangerous and/or obnoxious, or is about to do it in the next 5 minutes. I can also count on one hand the amount of times I've seen one respecting the speed limit, and they're a pretty common car here.
Do you regret your choice? Do you constantly think “Fuck everyone else around me, I do what I want.”, or do you legitimately not notice how everyone else hates you?
It could easily be all of those things. Regret turns to coping poorly through projection^1^, followed by just ignoring the problem.
Re: idiots and assholes. The Venn diagram for those groups have a rather large intersection.
1. Clinically known as "acting like an asshole". In this case, it's the decision that it's everyone else who is encroaching on their space, while driving a vehicle that is slightly smaller than a shuttle bus.
Artist nailed it outlining people's obsession with personal freedoms versus society's rights as a whole.
I hate this about newer car models. Many are unnecessarily wide. Lanes don't get wider though.
It is "necessary" for them to be that wide.
CAFE standards are based on "footprint" which is basically the rectangle of the tire contact patches. If you're a car manufacturer who can't meet the NHTSA's MPG requirements for the size of car you produce, you can increase the size of your cars, so they fit in a larger class that requires less of an MPG improvement.
The most effective way to increase the footprint is to widen a narrow car, increasing its footprint toward square.
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They’re wider and longer because the EPA uses the area under the tires to determine fuel economy requirements.
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In all honesty, the wideness of modern cars may actually be their downfall. I live in a suburban area (Not US, but that doesn't matter it's become everyone's problem.) and the roads were designed for cars to be parked on either side and two, narrow lanes in the middle where people could, slowly, get past each other, with a certain amount of tolerance (i.e. space).
Then came an EPA ruling in the states (late 90's I think) and trucks were immune to sensible laws and all the car companies made trucks that were immune to being too wide (among other things). They became objects of desire. Cars followed, because everyone wants a thick phallus I guess, or maybe needs to see the road when there's a fat car next to them, or one with tinted windows, and I'm nowhere near to a legal solution in a global economy.
Practical upshot, local roads are only one lane wide because of fat cars parked on either side with no regard to practicality, add endless renovation because property development is the one true way to richness /s, even though rich people already own the good land, and control their local environment.
TLDR, fat cars break suburban roads.
Nothing wrong with public transport
Lol I don't understand why people want wide cars. There are so many instances where having a narrow car saved me from some dinguses crossing the center line
You're stuck in the "defensive driving" mindset -- You gotta go offensive to keep safe. The Chevy Stretch offers significantly greater total mass than even large trucks, and a lower center of gravity. Now you'll be the one crossing the center line, striking fear into the hearts of the sensible!
All things considered, stability and six full seats? Look up Fiat Multipla.
Some people have an exaggerated and/or completely broken sense of personal space, and how that keeps them "safe".
Well in lots of the usa we only have wide ass roads.
Yeah that's not true at all. Someone hasn't driven on the backroads near me.
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