this post was submitted on 23 Nov 2024
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The Internet in Ancient Times

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Welcome to the stone age... or the bronze age... or the iron age... heck, anything with an 'age' is welcome, except our modern age or any ages to come.

This is about what the internet was like thousands of years ago back when it all started. Like when Darius the Great hired mercenaries via Craigslist or when Egypt invented emojis.

CODE OF LAWS

1 - Be civil. No name calling, no fighting, keep your flint hand axes inside your leather pouches at all times.

2 - Keep the AI stuff to a minimum. It gets annoying and old fashioned memes are more fun for everyone.

3 - None of this newfangled modern 21st century nonsense. We don't even know what "21st century" means.

4 - No porn/explicit content. The king is sensitive about these things.

5 - No lemmy.world TOS violations will be tolerated. So there.

6 - There is no ~~rule~~ law 6.

Laws of justice which Hammurabi, the wise king, established. A righteous law, and pious statute did he teach the land. Hammurabi, the protecting king am I. I have not withdrawn myself from the men, whom Bel gave to me, the rule over whom Marduk gave to me, I was not negligent, but I made them a peaceful abiding-place. I expounded all great difficulties, I made the light shine upon them. With the mighty weapons which Zamama and Ishtar entrusted to me, with the keen vision with which Ea endowed me, with the wisdom that Marduk gave me, I have uprooted the enemy above and below (in north and south), subdued the earth, brought prosperity to the land, guaranteed security to the inhabitants in their homes; a disturber was not permitted. The great gods have called me, I am the salvation-bearing shepherd, whose staff is straight, the good shadow that is spread over my city; on my breast I cherish the inhabitants of the land of Sumer and Akkad; in my shelter I have let them repose in peace; in my deep wisdom have I enclosed them. That the strong might not injure the weak, in order to protect the widows and orphans, I have in Babylon the city where Anu and Bel raise high their head, in E-Sagil, the Temple, whose foundations stand firm as heaven and earth, in order to bespeak justice in the land, to settle all disputes, and heal all injuries, set up these my precious words, written upon my memorial stone, before the image of me, as king of righteousness.

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

Because Zeus raped those women.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 hours ago

No, don't take notes!

[–] [email protected] 0 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

None of those three look like they're being raped to me.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 hours ago

Tbf, the one on the left is about to throw yarn at him, the one in the middle is kissing him, but we can't see motion to get context, and the one on the right has a penis.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

😰 someone doesn't read mythology or understand that "she looked like she was enjoying herself" is not a good justification.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago) (2 children)

🙄 Look at the image in the post.

spoiler

She's kissing the swan and the other two ladies are into it. That's the whole joke.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 hours ago

Maybe I'm missing something then, where is Zeus?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

One of them ladies has a nice dick.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 hours ago

I see you're familiar with Greece.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Have you tried turning into a swan?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I could only manage an ugly duckling.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 day ago

I'd fuck an ugly duckling. I'm a man though

[–] ICastFist 4 points 1 day ago

Well, can YOU fly-by fuck girls? Checkmate

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago

Stupid sexy ~~Flanders~~ swan

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I remember reading a fantasy book and there was a large pantheon of gods. These two characters were on a journey and they both worshipped this one god. One night, a goddess appeared to them for some reason to warn them about something but she didn't reveal herself. Her very aura caused them to realize who she was and fall in love with her and promise to worship her forever. She told them she couldn't accept their fealty because as soon as she left they would regret their decision. Now, of course I know Zeus isn't real but I wonder if ancient people believed a god's very presence could override reason.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 9 hours ago

Greek gods could do what the fuck they wanted.
And what they wanted to do was fuck.