You don't hate yourself. You clearly can voice that you don't like the feelings you get out of these interactions. You even wrote it down. So you can take it now to them. Tell them in basically the same words as you used here, that it makes you feel like that and you wanted to know if they can understand why you feel like that. Good luck.
this post was submitted on 20 Nov 2024
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Take every day in stride
What I mean is don't get caught up in the past. That is self defeating and won't make you feel good about yourself. Instead, reflect a little but always look toward the future.