Dogs

My heart goes out to you.

I’ve had numerous pets and been a care taker for animals most of my life. I’ve lost many over the years. It takes a major toll on the mind and body every time.

This quote is the most true thing I know about grief. I think it’s from a tv show but I originally got it in a card from a relative when my dad died.

“Grief is like a suitcase sitting at the bottom of your bed. Every day, you must carry it with you, without fail. Some days, it feels like it’s filled with rocks. Some days, it feels like it’s light as a feather. That’s how you get through this: when there are more days of feathers than rocks.”

Grieving is not linear. I lost my cat in February to cancer. I saw a picture the other day that made me think of her and I had a cry.

Keep her stuff until you are ready to donate it so her things can live on in another happy doggo.

Try to take care of yourself. At least remember to drink water.

I'm so sorry. It's one of the hardest things someone can go through. I lost one of my girls back in the spring as well.

It may sound counterintuitive, but for me, talking about her and reminiscing about good times with her and her funny quirks really helped. I still miss her terribly, but I think of her silliness and I smile.

Hang in there. It will get easier.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

From my experience with grief there isn't a lot you can do. It simply takes time to process and adjust. Trying to ignore it and power through only makes it harder and longer in my experience.

Try and think about your fond memories and be grateful that you got the time you did. Though I'm sure that means nothing right now.

Talking to a therapist can give you a space to express yourself in a safe and constructive way if you have access to that.

(Advice at the bottom.)

I’m so sorry that you’ve lost your friend. When our baby girl (cat) passed away, we sobbed and sobbed. Losing a pet is sometimes harder than a family member because the pet is there EVERY MOMENT. Literally everything reminds you of them and how much you miss them.

But hang in there. The final form of “grief” is “appreciation” and having a friend that you feel that kind of appreciation towards is one of the deep joys of life.

We lost our girl in March and only just last week I saw a picture of her and shed a quiet tear thinking of her (this was after a couple of months of feeling really great and having “moved on”), but I was thankful that I could cry and knew that she still mattered to me. It’s hard, but also deeply beautiful to love so much.

Now for some advice: when we lost our girl, doing a “ritual” to honor her was really important for me. In the days after her passing, I stayed up late into the night going through every picture my SO and I had of her and found the ones I felt like captured our pet the most. Once I had those all together, I went online and made a picture book from Google Photos and ordered a printed copy to keep on the bookshelf.

The hours and hours of gathering photos really helped me to process the grief. Then, about a week after I ordered the book, it arrived in the post and I looked through it and cried some more.

Afterwards, I really felt like I had honored her memory and had cried about as much as I needed to.

Wishing you well on your journey, and thank you for making the hard choice to shorten her suffering as much as you could — that’s the burden that pet parents carry for our pets.

Blessings!

The advice that I live by is that we can only be so lucky as to outlive our pets. It’s part of the burden of pet ownership. Besides, if we pass before they do, who would take care of them as good as we had?!

The above is easier said than done I’m sure. I’m saying this as someone with 2 seniors dogs. One is scheduled for surgery next Tuesday to remove a mast cell tumor. Trying to reconcile in my head how hard it will be to lose him…

Sorry didn’t mean to bring up my own personal pet stuff here but this struck a nerve. I hope you can find peace with your loss friend.

I'd be lost too.