this post was submitted on 10 Nov 2024
1094 points (96.9% liked)

The Onion

4571 readers
1318 users here now

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 100 points 2 weeks ago (7 children)

I was listening to a podcast and the host just factually read out the things Trump has been convicted for and has been found to have done throughout the years. It's insane! Enough shitbaggery to take down an 18th century European monarch, but Trump somehow just gets a pass on all of it, wtf?! Has this guy made a pact with Satan or what?

He stole money from cancer kids!! How does anyone politically survive that??

[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 weeks ago

He survived because America is the country of incarceration and heavy punishment, and he recieved none of that. Therefore what he has done was apparently not that bad.

I'd argue that this is an example of 2 tier justice a d should make people mad as hell, but here we are.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 weeks ago (15 children)

It's been a long game to get to this point, but the conservatives I know are completely isolated from reality at this point. They ONLY watch X and newsmax...Fox is too liberal for them these days.

All that douchbaggery has been scrubbed away in a very effective and sophisticated social engineering campaign over the last decade or so.

The cult leader can do no wrong.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 2 weeks ago

...so it's a good thing my grandparents only watch Fox News and haven't moved into further bullshit? What a fun world to be living in now.

load more comments (14 replies)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Conservatives all are about exceptionalism

[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Has this guy made a pact with Satan or what?

Well, we have a pandemic and 2 growing wars, so if a major famine occurs next, definitely a maybe

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Propaganda and dumb people listening to only what dumb media has to say.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Oh I have my own independent sources

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

"Grandpa, the Babylon Bee is not a reliable news source."

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

This is exactly why people are trying to kill him. If the system refuses to incapacitate him, the people will find a way.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 weeks ago

The people who have tried so far seem to be right wingers more interested in making a name for themselves than any ideological motive.

Those of us who already have dancing shoes for whenever his arteries finally finish the job aren't exactly looking forward to making him a martyr for President Vance to use either.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 weeks ago

...with Russian cash and idiots that believe in him.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Honey, the preschool called... Dylan grabbed his first pussy! Anyway we have to find a new preschool. Fucking libs!

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

He's now in the Donald Trump school for gifted children

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Now he’s the one getting grabbed

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 42 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 67 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (10 children)

Yeah, Reductress is a feminist spin on The Onion and they are not pulling punches.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 weeks ago

A lot of Boy moms out there found this similarly reassuring. “My son sucks, and I was worried his inherently entitled personality and lack of boundaries would really hurt his life trajectory,” said Tyler’s mom, Jeanne McArthur. “Nice to know nothing can hold him back!”

They came after Boy moms and killed it. I'm in love with them now.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 weeks ago

I'm a dude but holy crap Reductress is hilarious. Bookmarked.

load more comments (8 replies)
[–] [email protected] 33 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I thought of a few fantastic Onion headlines and was tempted to write them but they all made me deeply sad.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Oh come on now! You can’t say that without sharing. We want to be deeply sad too!

[–] [email protected] 43 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

"In the wake of the Trump victory millions of Americans relieved to find out their white neighbours consider them 'One of the good ones'"

"Deodorant shelves empty as many LGBTQI+ "Allys" realise that they might actually have to prove it"

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 28 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (3 children)

Nah, I see it this way: if this idiot can be president twice, YOU can do anything!

[–] [email protected] 45 points 2 weeks ago

Step 1: inherit $400m

[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

☑ Got lemons
☑ Made lemonade

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 17 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Oh, they mean the rapist in chief.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

It think they meant Jeffrey Epstein ( the most notorious pédophilie of the century ) closest friend.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

I wish this were Onion material instead of fact :(

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

I thought this was a satire site

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Representation matters!!

(Jezus, reductress!)

load more comments
view more: next ›