Twitter, Tesla, and Space X because there's absolutely no chance I could do worse.
this post was submitted on 25 Aug 2023
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Meta, Twitter, and Microsoft
I'd Eddie Lampert all 3, donate the money to charity, and go back to my regularly scheduled day job.
would you sell like Skype to someone who would integrate it to the fediverse for free
Buddy, I'd open source it all and give it away for free.
yea but who will own Skype
The public domain my friend. The public domain
hmm ok i suppose
Meta, google and Apple. Opensource what needs to be and optionally connect the world together while respecting the privacy of those who want it.
Meta, Amazon, TikTok and shut them all down immediately
mabye sell instagram to calyx institute
Honestly some kind of waste management or water treatment business. Stable, reliable industry that provides an important service and keeps society running.
None, because their boards would sue my pants off for what I'd do with them.
A better question would be what I'd do with controlling ownership of three companies.
I think it's a bit naive to think that what Mozilla is lacking is a good CEO. A CEO cannot magically make Firefox the default on Android or have the most visited website in the world shove it down your throat. A CEO alone also cannot improve webgl or webrtc Performance without sacrificing development time on other things. I can't think of any major problems Mozilla has that are caused by or could be solved by upper management, they simply don't have the resources and outreach that google does.
- InGen
- Weylan-Yutani
- Omni Consumer Products
Shareholders can count on me to lead these corporations to greater profitability without disastrous consequences for any grave ethical violations.
Nestle: Pull them immidiately out of all palm oil sourcing and switch to alternative sources. Vow to replenish all lost palm trees affected by palm oil deforestation. Stop all uneithical business practices in 3rd world countries and replace them with practices that prop up those communities including educating the next generations so they arenβt only dependant on the money coming from Nestle. Revisit water sourcing for bottling plants to make sure they arenβt affecting locals or local aquifers. Basically just stop the company from making money hand over fist on the backs of other peopleβs suffering in every way possible.
Microsoft: Stop all plans of advertising on a paid OS. Stop whatever KPIs are forcing pop ups down everyoneβs throats and redesigns every 3 days. In the spirit of WSL2, Open Source. Wherever possible within security limitations open source software. Set the standard. Spend the time to also integrate so much of what the competition has done, especially local OS wise. Focus on user experience rather than KPIs and squeezing more money from users.
Some unheard of Big Oil Consortium or trust or something, whoever BP and Exxon Mobil and all them go to and are directed by: Oil well cleanups. Stop fracking. Transition in to clean/alternative energy. Ocean clean up and rehabilitation. Basically stop being worse than the bad guys from James Bond movies.
Pull them immidiately out of all palm oil sourcing and switch to alternative sources
The issue is a bit wider than that. In a lot of cases palm oil is what makes convenience foods so convenient. Palm trees are extremely space-efficient and comparably easy to harvest, so replacing palm oil with e.g. coconut oil or shea butter does not improve upon the situation at all. Palm oil also tends to be unnecessary and unhealthy to its consumers. Essentially, this means stopping production of entire product lines like, say, broth cubes.
And then, do note that a large portion of palm oil/palm products goes into bio-diesel, animal feed and cosmetics/medical products. None of which involves Nestle specifically.
Vow to replenish all lost palm trees affected by palm oil deforestation.
The issue is that rainforest is cut down for palm trees. Palm trees are just the monoculture that was planted afterward. You'd need to restore rainforest.
[Not gonna dissect any further here.]
Edit: I have a better idea, run a sourcing company like Cargill or ADM into the ground. :)
Oh man, you guys are thinking way too big. Become the CEO of 3 small companies! Abscond with your 3 100k paychecks while working 10 hours a month. You'll never make the news. Enjoy the easy life.
quite alot of people want to be ceo for a short amount of time like i do
Valve Microsoft Google
Would release Half Life 3 and update tf2 regularily
Would help making wine 1:1 feature complete and rebase windows on the Linux kernel
Would kill of Google Chrome
Amazon, Disney, and Nestle.
Pepsi, Proctor and Gamble, and Nestle. Three of the largest corporations on Earth that control over half of the brands you buy.
Amazon, Apple and SpaceX. The first two for staggering short-term monies before they figure out I donβt know anything, and kick me out, SpaceX because I think rockets are cool! Maybe Iβd kill off Starlink since thatβs pissing off astronomers and astronomers are also cool.
Dan's Hardware, Spiffy Carwash, and The Salty Dog Wash
Truly just a hard workin bloke
That's "CEO Bloke".
news corp (ch..ch..ch..chaaanges a comin'), microsoft or google (i mean, alphabet), and whatever the largest health care network is (like banner, or united, or whatever. just the biggest one).
If I was going for money and influence across different areas, maybe Google, Amazon, and Berkshire Hathaway.
BlackRock is very influential
True, but I can only pick 3, and Berkshire Hathaway is the top one on the s&p500 that it's not tech.
Tesla, X and SpaceX. And then I'd shoot myself.
Edit: it's just a joke about hating Elon. Not sure why that needs to be explained.
Should rather give ownership to the employees instead π
What would shooting yourself accomplish? They'd just replace you within a week.
google, bytedance, and amazon
mainly to open source their software and get rid of privacy invasive & anti-consumer stuff
i suppose you could turn tiktok into a long form platforms