AroAceAgender (AAA)

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A community for people who are Aromantic, Asexual, and Agender, or somewhere on the spectrums. Everyone is welcome here as long as they are respectful.

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Asexuality, aromanticism etc, and marriage fraud investigation (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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So a partner and us are thinking about getting married so we can emigrate somewhere (we do genuinely want to be together). However we're both ace-spec and thus don't have sex.

We're also both not cis, nor monogamous.

They're also aromantic and thus with all these things we don't behave in a typical mono allocishet way.

So is there any hope for us or will marriage fraud investigators tell us no without us kissing, having sex and generally behaving as expected?

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

That really depends on where you are going and where you are coming from.

In general, if you are going to a place that recognizes your union (civil or not, heterosexual or not), have paperwork to back it up, and have been sharing your life as partners for a while (ie shared financial responsibilities etc), you should not have any more trouble than non-ace couples.

Believe it or not, outside of weird sexually perverted cults like the Roman Catholic Church, having sex is not a requirement for marriage.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Well, we are both from different countries so sharing finances for anything is difficult and we're both relatively poor.

Well, we did look up on this page and it seemed to indicate requiring the marriage to be 'consummated' and other things we don't do nor want to.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 week ago

I can find no indication of “consummation” or other terms that’ that seems to necessarily imply sexual activity other than a reference to birth control.

Anyway, immigration proceedings are stressful and heartless. I definitely recommend making sure you know your rights and the process. I know money is tight, but if you can find an immigration lawyer that has experience with the immigration process of LGBTQ+ and other “non-traditional” couples that would definitely be a very very big boost to your chances.

I don’t know if “we don’t have sex” is going to count as a strike against you in a U.S. immigration hearing, but the lawyer definitely should.

What definitely counts as a strike against you is lying, and they are really good at finding out, so I don’t recommend you pretend your physical relationship is different than it is.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 week ago

like everyone else has said this is heavily dependent on the locales but i’m going to imagine with immigrating to the US this way you will need to come here on a fiancé visa or something and then proceed with the citizenship/visa process for marriage after getting legally married here.

i’ll be real chief no shade on nontraditional relationships, but if you are having trouble differentiating between you and your partners relationship and those who are fraudulent, then yes, the immigration office likely will as well and they will investigate you.

i know it isn’t what you want to hear, and im not saying it is right, but when it comes to america; basically yeah, you need to display indications of a more traditional domestic relationship.

again, it isn’t right (i think we should just have entirely open borders but i digress), but trying to “cheat” that here is legally considered fraud and i would be very careful in lying to immigration officials in any appreciable manner. they don’t fuck around here.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I applied for a green card in the US based on marriage, and my wife is now applying for one in Canada. In both cases, they've mainly been concerned with combined finances and co-habitation. Your mileage may vary depending on where you are, but I don't imagine that it would be a problem.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

Okay, how do we co-habitate or share finances when we're both from different countries? This is confusing to us both.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago

Ahh I see, that makes it a little different. Where I am, there are actual visas for this case (called a fiance visa). I'm not sure exactly what they'd be looking for to prove a bonafide relationship (possibly some evidence of correspondence), and it does require that you've met in person at least once within the last two years. Not sure where you and your partner are based, so again, YMMV.

Once married, I expect you or your partner would apply for permanent residence (a "green card"). This is where you'd have to show combined finances, etc. If you have the means, consider consulting an immigration lawyer in whichever country you intend to reside.