No regrets
this post was submitted on 28 Oct 2024
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Asklemmy
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Joyful, peaceful, content, fulfilled, educated, energetic, with a diverse set of wonderful friends, and a fun, flexible lifestyle. I retired early and wake up every day (whenever I feel like waking up) in a place I love. I laugh a lot and have a close “chosen family” who always has each other’s back. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
I read your first sentence and after reading it I thought to myself this person sounds like they are wealthy.
Then read your second sentence which indicates you are wealthy.
I suspect that with children you would be happy also, if you are wealthy. Money really does make a difference.
But who can say?
Anyway, it sounds like things are good for you, so that's great.
I was not born into wealth, and put myself through college on scholarships. The only reason I’m “wealthy” is because I’ve lived very frugally (and still do), and chose not to have kids. I’m not denying that I’ve had some advantages, and certainly those born into the current economy have it tougher, but overall I’ve eaten a hell of a lot of lentils, don’t subscribe to any streaming services, am not much of a consumer, and enjoy the simple things in life. Obviously not an exhaustive list, but stuff like that. It’s not for everyone, but I’m deeply content and fulfilled.
Fine. Sometimes sad. I dated someone with a kid for a while and the good parts were good. But now I'm old so it's kind of moot.
I have a big chosen family, including people who feel like children, and even grandchildren. I don't believe that a blood relation would make that any richer an experience for me.
skipped the zombie apocalypse
Ask again in a decade and some. Me and my gf really do not want kids
Hopefully no different from life now.
You could really ask this question of anyone about anything. There will always be substantial differences between one person's life and another. Having had children doesn't necessarily denote that difference, even less so for men as some fathers don't stick around and instead go live their own lives seemingly uninterrupted.
But think of how many things people sink great amounts of time and effort into; gambling, becoming a practicing doctor, hedge fund trading, starting a charity, programming... Those people will probably all have large amounts of time devoted to those things.
Of course there'll be many things that don't compare, and some that do... Then you must also factor in that it's a trauma for some people. Some people end up not liking their children, kicking them out, disconnecting.
Human nature is hugely variable. What's it like being a good person? What's it like being rich? What's it like being homeless and a drug addict? What's ut like being happy? What's it like in prison? What's it like as mayor? Or psychiatrist? Or teacher?
What's it like not like doing any of the things mentioned here? Well, that question, your post, is really about you, isn't it? It's about you asking others "what would my life be if I didn't, or don't have kids?"
So, why are you asking?
Because it's not a bad thing to ask another person about their experiences in life. And putting it within the context of a particular life choice adds a layer of focus to the conversation.
Given your logic, no one should ever ask anyone else any question about their personal experiences other than to retrieve information.
putting it within the context of a particular life choice adds a layer of focus to the conversation.
It won't create a very interesting debate though, because OP already excluded most people who followed through on the opposing view in the question itself.
This extra layer of focus really functions as a filter, which can only result in a hall of mirrors.
It's perfectly fine if OP just wanted to confirm an existing bias and need arguments for that, but it's absolutely not a very interesting conversation.
lol