this post was submitted on 22 Aug 2023
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(inspired by friends' dating app woes)

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[–] [email protected] 97 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (8 children)

She didn't just think she was a witch, which I was mostly OK with because religions are weird and stuff, so I thought as long as it doesn't reach the realm of life-affecting problems, it's a non-issue.

She also believed she had friends who were werewolves, she could do magic, the date of your birth determined your personality, because a planet was in retrograde good things were about to happen, vampires started the Red Cross so they could always have access to blood, and, oh yeah, along with her two mortal parents she also had an incubus second father and that she was half-demon and that's why she liked sex when she wasn't supposed to.

That... That girl needed some serious help, but claimed that she was well-adjusted and fit to help other people instead. Because, of course, she was also an empath...

Edit: I want to make something clear that it suddenly struck me I haven't; with all this craziness that she believed, that young woman had her life a hell of a lot more together than I did or do. She graduated university while I flunked out, she found a job while I'm being rejected every time that I apply, she found a low-rent apartment to live in while I'm still living with my folks. Don't get me wrong, girl had some trauma and had some problems. But she was contributing to society while I'm fucking around on the internet because I can't seem to make anything of myself.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 1 year ago (1 children)

As someone with a twin with a completely different personality the idea of horoscopes has always been sily

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 year ago (2 children)

If you think horoscopes don't make any sense, you're really going to be boggled by its sister, numerology.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

ugh hate all that stuff

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Well to be fair your post does have 10 likes at the moment

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 year ago (2 children)

She downloaded Tiktok into her brain. Big mistake.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

She fell prey to one of the classic blunders.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Never go in against the Red Cross when blood is on the line?

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

Inconceivable!

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago

Knowledge passed down from the ancient days of Tumblr...

[–] [email protected] 30 points 1 year ago (1 children)

and that's why she liked sex when she wasn't supposed to.

At the risk of shallow psychoanalysis I think we found the root cause. She was taught sex is a bad thing so she constructed an elaborate fantasy world to justify it

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

That was one part of a whole that a never got anywhere near finding out the entire story. With that and her stories of being damn near abandoned as a child, it really worried me as to what might have happened to her that she never felt free enough to tell me.

I tried to explain, "Like, no, that's normal." And she was just insistent that it was not. I didn't know about the believing herself to be half-succubus until later, but when I found that out, it kind of clicked into place that something happened to her and she just cannot believe that a normal person should enjoy sex the way she does. And that is... Really troubling.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (3 children)

It really was. While there were bits and pieces of this that came up during the relationship, the bulk of this came out as we were breaking up. She had been abused as a kid, though I'm not sure the extent of that abuse. At the very least, she was abused by being effectively abandoned. She said she fended for herself, mostly eating canned food she got for herself through grade school, things like that.

I was upset for a while, she's not someone I want anything to do with, but mostly I just feel bad for her. She was traumatized as a kid, she receded into a delusion to try and escape that, and her delusion came to define her to the point where she got incredibly defensive if you tried to challenge its reality. She had said that she tried therapy before but that it didn't work because she knew better than the therapists how to deal with her problems, and I'm certain what that actually means is that they tried to talk her out of her delusion and she wasn't having any of it.

I really hope she got the help she needs, but I sadly doubt it.

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[–] [email protected] 60 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (14 children)

Can we go back in time to when this was a sexy body for a man? This is dadbod now. I need the bar lowered back to this so I can have a cheeseburger more often.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago

I doubt you'd be shamed with a body like this...

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (9 children)

Seriously. This is very achievable.

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[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (3 children)

This is a win for me, spell me up mommy.

[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago

Never Stick Your Dick In Crazy

Have Them Peg You Instead

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 1 year ago (3 children)

What happened to sexy sci fi?

[–] [email protected] 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

People realized they could just watch porn

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 1 year ago (3 children)
[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Interesting take. I'd guess it's pure commercialism. Deadpool went in knowing it was going to be R-rated, and they broke out the strap on. Most of the movies the article mentions are going for PG-13 so they can sell more toys. That's my take.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago (1 children)

PG13 movies from the 80-90 had sensuality too. They were not so sterile.

Anyway, best example of this phenomenon that I can think of is Casino Royale vs No Time To Die. There's chemistry and sexual tension between Bond and Vesper since the moment they meet.

Fast forward 15 years and in NTTD Daniel Craig and Lea Seydoux have nothing at all. Even though they supposedly have a past and apparently a daughter too. The relationship feels, for the lack of better word, clinical. Like just another checkbox to be ticked.

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 1 year ago

They better hurry up and remake this so Lady Gaga can get the part.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 1 year ago (13 children)

That's a day negative 10 deal breaker. I can be casual friends with a "witch", but being in a relationship means I have to pretend I believe that stuff, and no one can keep up an act that long.

It's as fake as any religion. I mean it is kinda one, I think. I have very little awareness of it, I'm pretty sure witches and wiccans are different, but it's all beyond baloney, so I don't really care about the subtleties.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Really depends on her definition of being a witch. For the most part, hell yeah, I'm on board.

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[–] [email protected] 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

If you have to ask, you've probably got something that's a deal breaker for the witch

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Like not believing in fantasy?

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[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (9 children)

Well I guess it depends on if they were calling themselves a witch because they're Wiccan, or if it was genuine delusion

[–] [email protected] 24 points 1 year ago (11 children)

It’s all of a kind to me whether someone is into crystals or crucifixes. Honestly, I prefer the crystals folks. They’re less likely to actively and vocally prefer my non-existence. But to be honest, I really don’t see a difference between casting a spell to get a job and praying to jesus to get a job. The more it becomes a major focus of one’s existence, the more problematic it is, but I suspect that both numerically and by percentage, there are fewer fundamentalists on the witchy side.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Just please don't use the crystals as deodorant (unless you have sideburns in the shape of stars)

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Counterpoint: new age idiots are also some of the most vocal anti-vaxxers.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Is there really a difference?

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

It's a spectrum, Wicca is somewhere between believing in the healing power of certain plants (certainly true) and full on "I can make spells that can hurt you because I watched The Craft."

I recently went to a "Witchcraft Fair" and there were so many people from every little niche thing. Tarot readers, crystal girls, candle spells and intention prayers, sex magic, literally dozens of different specific ways people did their thing.

[–] [email protected] 9 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Tell me more of this "sex magic" you speak of

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago

When you realise that's his idea of formal wear.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Deal breaker for me. Real or no, I don't fuck with magic.

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